When it comes to family dynamics, nothing says “complicated” quite like a blended family where the stepparents want to weigh in on naming decisions for grandchildren.

After years of low contact and emotional distance, the stepparents decided it was their place to critique the names chosen by their adult stepchildren.

Cue the drama.

Read on for the story!

AITA for telling my dad and his wife they are not entitled to a say in the decision making of other adults even if they raised those adults?

My dad (62m) and his wife (59f) Mary got married 16 years ago. Both were widowed with children.

Dad had me (10m then/26m now), my sister (8f then/24f now) and my other sister (7f then/23f now).

Mary had Jess (9f then/25f now), her son (6m then/22m now) and her other daughter (4f then/20f now).

Ah, a semi Brady Bunch in modern day.

Dad and Mary wanted to make a nuclear family and a more “traditional” family where Mary would stay at home, be the “mom” to all of us and dad would be “dad” to all of us and work and be the less involved in the day to day childcare parent.

I never accepted Mary as my parent. I never called her mom. I resent her deeply for asking frequently when I was a child.

Jess never accepted my dad either. She feels the same about him that I do about Mary.

An interesting thing to bond about.

My sisters call Mary “Mama” because they called our mom “Mom.” Jess’ younger siblings just call dad “Dad.”

Jess and I never considered us all a family. We both missed our late parents and would cause chaos by bringing them up sometimes to put the stepparent/parents spouse in their place and remind them that they weren’t forgotten.

I’d do this with dad too and I would remind him that my mom wasn’t replaceable and her place in my life could never be filled by anyone else.

I am low contact with dad and Mary now.

Ouchies.

Jess had a baby in the last two years. She named her daughter after her dad. This upset my dad and Mary.

I found out about this a little over a month ago because my wife and I had a son and his name was my mom’s middle name, which she was known as by close friends and family.

Mary was “hurt” that I honored one grandmother over the other. My dad also told me I should have found some way to honor Mary. Maybe using her maiden name, etc.

Oh, please.

They have not met my son and I did not reach out to them.

They reached out to me.

They told me Jess doing the same was such an intentional snub against our family and them as parents.

Mary told me I should have reached out to her and checked if my decision was okay with her, I should have included her and dad in this. Dad said the same.

I pointed out they are hardly in my life anymore which is how I prefer it so I’d never include them.

I ignored calls and texts for a few more weeks until Friday.

Mary told me this was not how someone treats their mother.

I responded that she was never my mother, she was never my real mother, who died when I was still a child.

*Cue monkey with hands over eyes emoji.*

I told her claiming she is was part of what made me so distant from them.

They both decided to Facetime me that night and told me I made such a big and hurtful decision without discussing it with them, how Jess had done the same and they rambled on like that.

I told them they’re not entitled to a say in the decision making of adults even if they raised them.

I told them Jess and I do not need their permission and clearly we don’t care what they want.

I was called rude, entitled and ungrateful for having such loving parents.

AITA?

When your family’s idea of “helping” means criticizing your personal choices and demanding a say in matters they’re no longer involved in, it’s no wonder the relationship is strained.

This Reddit commenter thinks they’re being babies.

This person thinks the whole thing is absolutely asinine.

This person says this whole situation is just terrible.

Apparently, some people think ‘family’ means ‘unlimited control’—newsflash, it doesn’t.

These people are cringe and a half.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.