Brother’s Fiancée Wants To Wear Their Late Mother’s Wedding Dress To Her Wedding, But She Thinks It’s An Incredibly Insensitive Request

Heather Hall

3 weeks ago

Balancing personal boundaries and family expectations is never easy, especially when emotions are involved.

So, what do you do when someone’s request – though sentimental – clashes with your vision for your wedding day?

Do you compromise to avoid upsetting them?

Or do you stick to your original plan?

In today’s story, a bride faces this exact dilemma and is looking for some advice.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to let my brother’s fiancée wear her late mother’s wedding dress at my wedding?

So, I (28F) am getting married in two months, and I’ve planned every detail down to the last flower petal.

It’s my dream wedding, and I’ve been saving and planning for years.

Here’s where things get tricky.

My younger brother (26M) is engaged to his fiancée, Emma (24F), and she recently lost her mom in a tragic accident.

Emma and I have always gotten along fine, but we’re not super close.

Anyway, her mom had a very beautiful, expensive wedding dress that Emma inherited, and it means a lot to her.

Here’s where she and Emma disagree.

A few days ago, Emma came to me in tears asking if she could wear her late mom’s wedding dress to my wedding as a guest.

I was shocked because this felt… off?

I totally understand that she wants to honor her mom, but I just feel like wearing a wedding dress at someone else’s wedding is not the time or place.

Especially since she knows I have a very specific theme, color palette, and vibe for my day.

I told her gently that I didn’t think it was appropriate, and she started crying, saying it was the only way she felt her mom could be with her during a major family event.

She said she’d never get to see her mom at her own wedding, and wearing the dress felt like a way to keep that connection. I felt for her, but I held firm that my wedding wasn’t the right time for that.

Family members are taking sides.

Well, now my brother is furious with me, saying I’m heartless and selfish, and a bunch of family members have started to take sides.

Some say Emma’s request is deeply sentimental and that I’m being too rigid about “wedding rules,” while others agree that it’s weird for a guest to wear a wedding dress at someone else’s wedding.

Emma hasn’t spoken to me since, and my brother says they’re considering not coming to the wedding at all unless I change my mind.

My fiancé is supportive of me, but I’m starting to feel guilty because I know this is tied to grief, and I don’t want to be the bad guy.

AITA?

Seems like the brother’s fiancee is trying to make the day about her.

Let’s see what advice Reddit readers had to offer.

So true! The day isn’t about sympathy for her mom’s death.