Despite his experience as a seasoned runner, he’s met with frustration when he offers advice, leading to accusations of being unsupportive.
Now, he’s wondering if he handled the situation wrong.
AITA for not “being supportive” of my girlfriend’s decision of running a half-marathon?
I (28M) have a gf (28F) that just recently decided to sign up for a half-marathon come December.
The reason why she signed up is because she doesn’t want to go to an event that’s also happening that day so she has a built-in excuse (That’s pretty wild to me).
To us as well.
She asked me beforehand and I told her I thought that was a bad idea. She doesn’t like running (nor does she run) and she could find another excuse that isn’t running a half-marathon. She still signed up anyways.
She then told me that she will follow a 12-week plan for running the half-marathon that was given to her with her inscription.
Here’s the thing, I’m a runner in an elite running club, I’ve run over a dozen half-marathons and countless 5ks and 10ks in my life.
This summer I ran a 10k and a half-marathon. I finished 5th overall in the 10k, and 12th in my category for the half-marathon. I’m by no means a “good” runner (good as in make a living running) but I do know what I’m talking about.
Sounds like it!
She’s often talked about wanting to get “in shape” which I’ve always encouraged but never pushed for (it’s not my place).
About a month ago she started to go to Barre classes and she’s enjoying them quite a bit (I’ve gone with her a couple times too), so I assumed that going to Barre classes was the final motivation she needed to sign up for the half-marathon.
I mean, two very different types of fitness.
Anyways, I advised her to start walking and jogging now before she starts the 12-weeks program. I told her that she needs to build a cardio-base before she takes on a half-marathon program that includes jogging, repetitions, intervals, long-distance, hills, etc.
She doesn’t want to because she’s not willing to stop going to Barre classes and she gets tired doing two workouts a day.
I told her that a half-marathon is a lot mileage and that she needed to get extra prepared so she doesn’t get injured in the race. She said she’s not interested in achieving a “good time” and just that she wants to finish, even if it’s walking.
Oh brother.
Also that she has a cardio base from playing basketball growing up (she stopped playing basketball 8 years ago).
I told her that she made this commitment and that she should take it more seriously, 12-weeks for a half-marathon is a pretty standard program when you have been running and you want to hit your peak in the race, not when you’re about to start from scratch.
That was the last straw and she got really upset with me saying that I was trying to put her down, not being supportive of her, and that it’s not easy for her when her boyfriend is in great shape and she isn’t.
At that point I apologized for making her feel that way and that I would drop it. I do feel that I need to find a better way to approach it but I want to know was I the a**hole?
Running isn’t just about putting one foot in front of the other—it’s about the right timing, training, and mindset!
But when your partner doesn’t share the same enthusiasm, even well-intentioned advice can come across as criticism.
Reddit has mixed feelings.
This person says he’s acting like a jerk.
So does this person. Like, chill.
But this person understands where he’s coming from (as do others, too).
Looks like his words hit the wrong stride, even though his heart was in the right place.
If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.