When friends constantly take advantage of your kindness, it can push even the closest relationships to their limit.
So, what would you do if friends staying in your home repeatedly got drunk, broke your belongings, and disrespected your personal space, even after promising to help in times of need? Would you ignore their behavior? Or would you draw the line and cut them off?
In the following story, one young lady finds herself in this very situation and is confused about what to do. Here’s what happened.
WIBTA for telling two of my (25F) friends (22F and 30M) that they are no longer allowed to stay at my house?
I (25F) and my fiancée (24M) have two friends (22F/30M) who stay with us on occasion and for work. I used to be really close with them. However, their recent actions have made me question this friendship, and I no longer want them to stay in my home.
For context, I am very fortunate that I have a home in a very desirable and touristy area. My home is surrounded by a ton of attractions and is very centrally located. Anyway, my friends love to stay at my home, but lately, they have made plans with me and then ditched me when they were staying in my home to get drunk.
For example, I asked if they would like to go out for dinner, and they agreed- ten minutes later, I found out they left and went to a bar to get drunk. They came back at 2 in the morning, and they were absolutely hammered.
This has happened on several occasions, and because they both cannot control their drinking habits, they have broken a couple of my personal items and destroyed a couch.
The last two times they stayed really took a toll on her.
For me, the straw that broke the camel’s back was the last two instances.
The first time, they asked if they could hang out at my place, and I allowed them to. They randomly left an hour later and came back in the middle of the night drunk.
The younger of my two friends broke into my bedroom and asked if they could have one of my dogs sleep with them. I told them no, and she grabbed my dog’s tail so hard he yelped, and his behind hit the upper part of his crate. My fiancée got them to the guestroom, and she eventually fell asleep.
The last time, my other dog had emergency surgery, and they said they wanted to come, support me, and help me with overnight care as my other dog had to have a limb amputated. They came to the hospital and left ten minutes later because my younger friend “left her backpack at her work.”
It seems their alcoholism clouds their judgment.
Hours later, I found out they were at a bar and wanted to come back late. I yelled at them, saying that they were selfish and that if they didn’t get back at a reasonable time, I would not open the door because my poor dog would wake up, and he was in a ton of pain.
On another occasion, the older friend asked if they could stay over, but I was helping one of my friends move that day. I said he could stay as long as he helped, and he showed up drunk, complained about helping, started going through my friend’s liquor, and opened a bottle of tequila that my friend and I were saving for her daughter’s 21st birthday.
Fast forward to today, I am Jewish, and my favorite holiday is here. Guess who blew me off?
Yup. Last night, she asked for a time for tomorrow, and neither ever showed up. I am done with their behavior, and I no longer want them to stay at my house. My fiancée and I used to be close with these two; however, I do not know how many chances I should give them. I know they are both struggling mentally, but how far is too far?
WIBTA?
Wow! This is a really sad situation for everyone involved.
Let’s see what advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer.
Great advice; those are not true friends at all.
They definitely have some behavioral problems that need addressing.
Most people would agree here, and their privileges would’ve been revoked after she pulled the dog’s tail.
So true! It’s best they aren’t invited over at all.
No one needs friends like this. She needs to set clear boundaries and distance herself from them until they get help for their drinking.
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