His Best Friend Is Marrying A Woman He Doesn’t Like, So He Tells Him He Can’t Be The Best Man At The Wedding

Sarrah Murtaza

6 hours ago

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/Craig Adderley

Some relationships can get very tricky when it comes to life changing events.

If someone you loved was about to make – in your opinion – a big mistake in getting married, would you still support them?

This guy’s best friend wants him to stand up with him, but personal grudges are holding him back.

Read the story and weigh in with your opinion!

AITA for refusing to be the best-man at my best-friend’s wedding despite knowing that I might be the closest person he has to family in the wedding-planning process?

To dive right in, I’ve been best friends with Bill (26M, not his real name) since college.

We’ve always been more like family and I love him like a brother.

We met as freshmen and were roommates until basically he graduated (I stayed an extra year at that college because I did a co-term ).

His friend’s family isn’t the best kind.

Now, Bill has a rough history with his family.

Without getting into too much detail, his dad was a terrible person, and that deeply affected Bill’s life.

His mom was a bit better, but she never stepped in when he needed support, which strained their relationship.

This is important because Bill has only invited a few family members to his wedding—just an uncle and aunt who took care of him during high school.

Because of this, he’s been adamant that I attend.

This guy has his personal issues!

Here’s the issue: I don’t like Bill’s fiancée, Amy (25F, not her real name). I can’t tolerate her at all.

Bill and Amy have been together for about two years, but their relationship has been on-again/off-again.

Amy was unfaithful at one point, and although they’ve worked things out, I saw firsthand how much mental torture Bill went through.

She’s manipulative and somehow came out of that situation scot-free.

As a result, I can’t stand her.

They don’t get along well.

I’ve made that clear to both Bill and Amy—probably in language that’s too explicit for this post.

Amy also dislikes me and holds a grudge because I told Bill to leave her after she cheated.

So, the feeling is mutual.

Anyway, about three weeks ago, Bill called me and asked if I would be his best man.

He said he really wanted me there because I’m one of the few people he considers family.

I wanted to say yes, but I know that if I’m there, Amy and I will end up in a confrontation.

I told Bill I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to be his best man.

He knows he would mess it up.

Attending the wedding is one thing, but being in the wedding party is another.

I can’t stand her, but Bill insisted.

He told me I might be the only “family” he has helping him in this process and really needs my support.

I explained to him that, as much as I love him like a brother, I don’t think it’s the right decision given the animosity between Amy and I.

After about an hour of back-and-forth, he said he understood.

But then he asked me again this week.

He’s sad but is adamant to opt out…

I feel really bad, but I know myself, and if I’m involved, I’m going to ruin this thing.

I don’t like her but I don’t want to ruin his first-wedding for him.

I’m not good at biting my tongue, especially not for months of wedding planning.

I’ve also asked my own younger brother and my gf.

They both also said it was the right call.

He wants to know if he made the right decision.