When tragedy strikes and hits two people, it’s almost certain that each will process the event in their own way.

This husband wants to be supportive of his wife after a devastating miscarriage, but there’s a problem—she doesn’t want to talk about it at all.

After a history of immense personal loss, she’s become accustomed to keeping her emotions private, leaving him torn between respecting her wishes and needing to talk it out.

Read on for the story.

AITA for repeatedly trying to talk to my wife?

I (31m) have been married to my wife (29f) for almost 7 years. We have a great relationship, I love her and I know she loves me.

The issue I have is that 3 weeks ago, my wife had a miscarriage. It was her fifth pregnancy- our second, (second pregnancy, one loss for us. We have a son).

She has two kids with her ex husband, and she also lost one with him.

Oh wow.

She is also an extremely private person (example: she didn’t even tell me she lost the baby with her ex husband. Her stepmom did).

Since we’ve been together she’s lost all her grandparents, a brother, and her mother and I’ve never seen her shed a tear.

You could see she’s upset but she will not talk about it.

So she miscarried our baby, and when she came home from the doctor’s office she was stone faced. No reaction at all.

At first I thought it was shock, trauma, I don’t know.

Probably all the above.

I’ve asked her how she is, I took all the time I could off work so I could do everything with the kids and the house, but she told me to cancel the time off.

She said she was fine, she didn’t need anything.

But since then I’ve “caught” for lack of a better word her crying several times when she’s alone. I’m talking whole body shaking with tears kind of crying.

When I asked her about it, she denied she was even crying.

That’s not good.

I keep trying to talk to her because I don’t want her to feel like she’s alone but any time I bring it up she gets angry and lashes out and tells me to leave her alone about it.

Her dad told me to leave her alone like she said, but I feel like I’d be a bad husband if I did that.

AITA?

It’s a heartbreaking situation where no one’s in the wrong.

Reddit says no one is really to blame here, though hubby may be more on the jerk-y side.

This person to says to remember that everyone’s grieving style is different.

This person says not to push.

This person says Hubs only just barely misses the AH finish line.

Two people, two ways of grieving…

Sometimes, silence speaks volumes.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.