That said, this soon-to-be mom feels like she’s become the default babysitter for her siblings.
After a family gathering, tensions boiled over when her parents made it clear they expect her to always put her siblings first—even with a baby on the way.
Read on for the story.
AITA for snapping at my parents for treating me more like a second mom than their daughter?
I 23F am the oldest of three siblings.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and both of them moved on.
My mom remarried had two kids then divorced again. My dad has a daughter with his current girlfriend.
We’re a big mixed family and we actually all get along pretty well.
I love my siblings and I help with them a lot. Especially when we have family gatherings.
But lately it feels like I’m expected to do everything.
My parents only really talk to me when they want something.
Family or babysitter? Unclear.
Now I’m 3 months pregnant with my fiancé and two weeks ago we had a family gathering.
Like usual, I ended up watching all the kids.
I didn’t mind much until after dinner.
I sat down with a brownie sundae when my little sister (one of my mom’s kids) asked for a bite.
I gave her some but then she kept asking for more and I ended up giving her most of it.
My fiancé said “Okay now leave your big sister some” and my dad responded with something like “You should realize an older sister is like a second mother and that won’t change even when she has her own kids.”
Wow, really?
That hurt a little. I had really wanted that dessert but I gave it up for my sister anyway.
And hearing my dad basically say that I’ll always be expected to take care of everyone even when I have my own baby just hurt.
My fiancé tried to brush it off and went to see if there was still some left but my parents got defensive and started listing all the things an older sister should/expected to do.
I snapped and told them they’ve never really treated me like a daughter, just someone who’s expected to help out all the time.
Sure seems that way.
I immediately regretted it and apologized but my mom grabbed my sister and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the night.
My dad didn’t say anything but now he barely responds to my texts.
I’m worried I messed up my relationship with my parents and siblings.
Did I overreact or how do I fix this?
While she regrets snapping, the deeper issue remains: when will she get to be their daughter, not just the default caregiver?
Reddit says never, and to stop apologizing.
This person says she didn’t see an overreaction at all.
This person says she really needs to set some boundaries.
This person says there’s no truth to what Dad said,.
The drama!
Who knew a brownie sundae would be the final straw for this overworked “second mom”?
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.