TwistedSifter

His Parents Always Turn His Hobbies Into Everyone’s Hobby, So The Oldest Kid Decides To Take Dance Classes In Secret. But When They Find Out They Get Upset He Went Behind Their Backs.

Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/RainierRidao

Some families function more like cults, which often means there are multiple children and no room for individuality – until one rebels.

In this case, a teenage boy decided to rebel in order to cultivate his individuality in a beautiful way: he took dancing classes and kept it a secret (very Jimmy Junior).

But when his parents found out, they were upset.

Let’s analyze the situation.

AITA for not telling my family I was in dance classes?

I’m (17 year old male) the oldest in my family and I have three younger siblings (15 year old male, 14 year old female and 12 year old female).

I always had a good relationship with my siblings and my parents.

My parents always told me I was the best older sibling and how they loved that I never said no to my siblings doing stuff with me.

Whether it was video games or football or martial arts.

My parents always encouraged inclusion and doing stuff together.

Sometimes it can be a little much but I never liked saying anything because I knew it made my parents proud and being “the best big brother” was all I had that was me.

My siblings were always better at the things we did together and even stuff that started as my thing, became their thing more.

I already see the problem here.

And sometimes this could lead to unfairness.

Like it would be if someone was doing good in their video game they could play longer.

I’m not that good at video games. I just enjoy them. So that means I get less time to play. Or I’m always the first out if we play together.

I never cared as much about football. That was something my parents wanted me and my brother in.

But it was still difficult to hear that I should be more talented like him.

That sounds bad, I know.

It is!

Anything I expressed an interest in, my parents would ask if I was okay with including my siblings but they’d always add on that they knew with me being the best brother I wouldn’t say no but they’d always ask.

So I’d say yes because again, it was the one thing I had going for me it felt like.

My siblings had their things that were just for them though.

He sounds parentified, which is common for the oldest sibling.

Two years ago my friend talked about this place near him that did free dance classes. He went and asked if I wanted to go.

I thought it sounded really cool so I’d tell my parents I was going to his house and we’d do the classes together.

We did different types of dance but I really fell in love with it… which made me want to keep it for me alone.

So I never told my family about it.

This sounds like a great decision and there’s nothing wrong with it.

They found out a few days ago because a local Facebook page covered the free classes and I was mentioned as one of their brightest talents.

I had no idea about it until my parents said it.

They were shocked and asked me about it and wanted to know why I didn’t tell them. So I came clean about everything and how I felt.

Any sensible parent would understand, right?

My parents told me it made no sense for me to feel that way because I love my siblings and I should love sharing everything like this with them.

They told me something like that would be perfect for all four of us to do because it’s free and fun.

They said I had always been such a good big brother and why was I now pushing my siblings away.

They also told me I let them down as a son.

Wow. They went too far. Everyone has a right to individuality (it’s the law).

My brother was the only person who didn’t care at all.

At first he was dismissive until I opened up to him and then he got it. My sisters are coming around.

But my parents are mad that I kept it from them but they’re also mad I didn’t want to include my siblings.

AITA?

I can only hope his parents show some character development.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

A reader shares strong opinions on the matter.

A commenter shares their thoughts.

Another reader chimes in.

Someone suggests questions for the parents.

Another person encourages the dancer.

I agree!

Being upset over your child taking dance classes is just toxic.

Kids are individuals, too.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.

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