In today’s story, a woman with ADHD wonders if she overreacted about not getting invited to game night with some friends.
She just wanted to spend time with her boyfriend after a difficult work week.
Let’s see how the story plays out…
AITAH for asking to go to an event my boyfriend’s friends held and having a breakdown when they flat out refused?
My boyfriend Steven (31m) and I (29f) have been dating for about a year.
Steven and his sister Rowan (28f) are friends with a couple Lily(34F) and Jared(36M) who they play D&D and board games with.
Since dating Steven, I’ve met them a few times and joined in their dinners.
She wasn’t invited to game night.
Recently, they planned a game night and only invited Steven and Rowan.
I work irregular hours (nights, schedule changes every couple of weeks) and only have one weekend day off a week, which is typically when Steven and I get to spend time together, and they scheduled for that night.
It was fairly last minute. I felt hurt and confused about not being invited because, in my experience, partners are usually included in social events, and I’ve always done the same for others.
Also, I’m an avid gamer: ttrpgs, boardgames, etc. And Steven and Rowan were thinking of taking my copy of a brand new game I’d bought recently to play with.
But I don’t know for sure that Lily and her husband knew it was my game.
She and Steven asked Lily if She could come to game night.
I told Steven how I felt, explaining that I was stressed from work (Emergency response type role and it was a rough week) and didn’t want to spend the night alone.
He spoke with Lily, who said they only wanted the two siblings because it was a four-person game.
Steven then put me on the phone with Lily, and pushed me to tell her about my mental health struggle and why I wanted to come even if I just watch, so I did, even though I’m an extremely private person and never allow vulnerability outside of close relationships.
She said she sympathised but still refused and suggested I find other coping mechanisms, like using a weighted blanket, instead of relying on Steven for support.
She was very upset.
I ended the call feeling vulnerable and very upset, and had a meltdown (ADHD emotional overload, NOT a tantrum, I did not yell or demand anything) afterward.
I told Steven I didn’t want to visit Lily and her husband again as I am obviously not welcome, but I encouraged him (without any passive aggressiveness) to go and enjoy himself.
I didn’t want to appear clingy and keep him from his friends, even though I was struggling emotionally.
She is now wondering if she was the one in the wrong.
With their explanations about wanting 4 people, and that I’d be bored, I’m questioning whether I overreacted.
I see them thinking he should have activities without me, and not knowing that he does. I have never asked him to cancel any plans for me before.
This was not a common occurrence.
I’ve been spiraling with all sorts of thoughts as to why they didn’t want me: worried that they hate me, or that they don’t accept me as his gf.
I also wonder if my stress and ADHD rejection sensitivity influenced my reaction.
AITAH for asking to come even though I wasn’t invited and then reacting so strongly to a refusal that I will not see them again?
It was probably as simple as just wanting 4 people for a 4 person game, but it doesn’t make sense to me why it wouldn’t be okay for her to come and watch just so she’s not alone.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted…
This reader thinks Lily is the problem.
Another reader thinks the boyfriend messed up.
This person thinks she isn’t acting her age.
Another reader thinks Steven messed up in multiple ways.
If her boyfriend had suggested another night for the game night, that would’ve solved everything.
I do feel badly for her, though.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.