Thanksgiving dinners are supposed to bring families together, but the closeness can also stir up unexpected tension.
This party host directed their brother to the kids table, thinking he was helping, but he didn’t realize his gesture would ruffle feathers.
Read on for the full story!
AITA for seating my older brother at the kids’ table with his 3 yo son?
Every year, my wife and I (40s M) host Thanksgiving dinner.
This year, 13 people total came (9 adults, two school aged children, a toddler & an infant).
The guests included my brother (50s M) from out of town and his 3 children (two in their 20s and a toddler, 3 yo).
The host describes the seating options at his party.
I have a dining room table with 8 seats, a breakfast room with 2 tables (1 table is adult size with 4 seats and 1 table is a toddler table with 4 chairs).
Finally, there is a couch in the den with a big screen TV with a coffee table where 2-3 people could sit.
With the exception of his brother, there are many regular guests in attendance who all know the drill.
The regulars know that it is free for all and they can sit wherever they want.
Usually about half or so sit in the breakfast room and half or so sit in the dining room.
This is my brother’s first time here for Thanksgiving that I can recall in at least 5 years.
The hosts directs his guests to their seats.
After saying grace, I told everyone about the seating in the dining room, breakfast table area, and the den.
I then directed my two school age children to the toddler table and made a seat for my brother and his 3 yo son also.
So there were 3 kids and my brother at this table.
He had special instructions for his brother.
I commented to my brother, “You can sit next to your son so you can help him with his meal.”
I brought my brother his cocktail which was in the kitchen and he was helping his son eat.
After everyone else got food, I made another batch of cocktails for everyone and finished heating a final item in the oven.
It was finally time for the host to eat.
So about 30 minutes later, after everyone else had started eating, I finally fixed myself a plate and looked for a seat.
I headed to the breakfast room and no one was there.
My brother and his sons were done eating and were in the den on the couch watching football, so I went to the dining room where 5 people including my wife were sitting.
He describes the rest of the evening, which got off without a hitch, or so he thought.
They were all done eating, but they were socializing, so I sat there and ate my meal.
After eating, I hung out in the den with my brother and nephews.
As far as I knew at the time, everyone had a great time and at the end of the night, I walked my brother to his vehicle, gave him and my nephews hugs and wished them a safe trip home.
Then came a phone call.
Well, Saturday I got a confrontational call from my mother saying that my brother told her that I made him sit at the kid’s table and “why did you do that?”
She stated that my brother was obviously bothered by this, but he didn’t say anything to me about it.
The host defends his intentions.
I might be the AH because I may have made my brother feel like he was not welcome to sit wherever he wanted.
I was just trying to facilitate his 3yo getting help eating.
So, AITA for seating my brother at the kids’ table?
It looks like this whole situation is one big misunderstanding.
What did Reddit think?
His actions may have been rude, but it’s not worth getting worked up over.
His brother may have been sat at the kids table, but he could still behave like an adult.
This commenter can’t believe someone could micromanage their own brother.
A little more communication could have gone a long way here.
Despite the host’s good intentions, his gestures didn’t quite land how he hoped.
Sometimes it’s best to let your guests direct themselves.
If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.