When you get a divorce, it is important to do everything you can to raise your kids together in a healthy environment.

What happens if you can’t see the kids for a while because of military deployment, and when you get back you find that the kids have been neglected?

This dad knew he had to take action, so he put a long-term plan into place.

Check out the details!

Be careful what you wish for

So I am a happily divorced dad of 2 beautiful kids.

A 5 yr old girl and almost 4 yr old son.

My ex an I met in my home state of IL (she was a navy brat so her family is from TX).

We fell in love very quickly, got married after a year, and was expecting my daughter after 3 mo.

We found out she was pregnant with my son almost 4-6 mo after my daughter was born.

Wow, that must have been devastating.

A month after he was born I found out she was cheating on me with at least 5 guys (later found out it was around 8).

OBVIOUSLY, I filed for divorce.

I got the lawyer, changed my banking accounts, and presented her with papers.

The first copy was rejected for a reason I cant quite remember.

Upon revision, I had my lawyer ALSO change the custody from me having the kids every other weekend to EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND.

Much to his surprise she signed it.

We shared the kids accordingly(she was SUPER upset but there was nothing she could do about it), and when she/I could no longer afford to live in the state, she moved back to TX.

Fast forward 2 years without seeing the kids (couldn’t afford to see them except on 1 xmas), I got out of the navy, moved back home and I got the kids for 3 months.

I was appalled by their development delays.

BOTH kids were rated in the bottom 5% of kids their age.

That is just neglect.

My daughter didnt have a clue about potty training at 3, barely speaking, and had no awareness of adult authority.

My son was not even close to walking, non-verbal, wouldn’t eat most meats, and was afraid of grass.

When I returned them my daughter would listen to adults, was potty trained, and speaking in almost complete sentences.

My son was walking, saying some words/hand-signals, and eating a variety of different foods.

I worked my butt off to get them there (also spent alot on 2 times a week therapy for both of the kiddos… money well spent).

Anyways I stayed in IL For about 1.5-2yrs gathering up enough money to move to TX.

I had a little amount saved, but I started dating a girl who I came to find out was also wanting to move to TX.

So, we pooled our money together and moved down.

We got down to TX and lived out of hotels for around a month, found jobs, found a place and moved in.

I work in a sales position in a large bulk type store, and my GF works at a sandwich place.

At this time my ex and I ARE NOT going by the divorce decree custody days, because of convenience.

Well a person ended up quitting the job and I had to take their hours, so my GF got permission to bring my kids to her work (the GM loves them).

Well they were being toddlers,and she texted a mutual friend of my ex and me asking if she could watch the kids for a few hours.

That got sent to my ex, my ex and new hubby got mad, and they came to my work and chewed me out saying that I “need to take the kids well being more seriously”.

Now I realize I messed up that day.

I was not mad at what they said. I was pissed at the fact they did that I front of my trainee, a customer, and coworkers.

Malicious compliance/revenge

During my “set up phase” I was not paying my full child support, which was kind of them, but that ended because I was now taking things more seriously.

The next morning I talked to my boss, told him what happened and informed him that I could not work at the times specified on my divorce decree because now that I am taking things seriously, i will now have the kids EVERY weekend.

I then transferred my ex the remainder of child support, informed her that she was right and I needed to take things more seriously, so I will be by after work to pick the kids up after work for my court appointed custody.

She was confused but agreed.

Then I called her on friday evening to see if she has everything prepared for the weekend stay (medications for my son).

She FLIPPED out saying they have plans all day Saturday, and church sunday morning.

It is exactly what she asked for.

She screamed “wtf are you making these demands all of a sudden?”

“Well I’m just taking the kids and our agreements more seriously.”

I ended up letting them have the kids Saturday and picked them up Sunday morning.

I then informed my ex and hubby that we would need at least a weeks notice for any change in plans on weekends incase we had things planned (generally if they wanted to do something special with kids if we didn’t have plans, even at last minute).

Since I was taking things more seriously, my gf and i kept VERY meticulous records of any injury, diaper rash, rash on my daughter from not wiping correctly, and physical appearance upon pickup.

We would treat said rashes, note any changes in our little black book, them take a photo of the pages with a time stamp.

When they returned we would then note any worsening of any rash, injury, or non treatment.

We also signed the kids up for more therapy since they are still very much behind.

This went on for a few months until, suprise!, my ex had enough and brought me to court to force the changes she wanted.

I presented the judge with EVERYTHING.

The drs notes I had from day one, the doctors notes from my ex with conflicting information (these notes were things she would tell the state funded therapist for my son).

As well as all the expenses for the therapies I was giving my kids.

Then I showed her our notes, the printed time stamped photos, and the many times any rashes would be present or worse when we got the kids.

My ex broke down into tears since she brought her entire family and several friends for support.

Great! This will be good for the kids.

The increase in child support she wanted was shot down, and instead was almost HALVED since I was making less than I was prior, the expenses I had for the kids, and my overall time with the kiddos.

The change in custody she so desperately wanted? Well, the judge ordered it to stay the same with the change of alternating sundays(slightly annoying). Walking out she asked me through tears “how could you do this to me”

To which I replied “I was taking things with the kids seriously”

Well played, it sounds like this will be very good for the kids.

Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments have to say.

Pure laziness.

Yes, get those kids away from mom.

Absolutely a good idea.

Yeah, he should have made it a priority immediately.

This person recommends filing for full custody.

This ‘mother’ doesn’t deserve to have any custody of the kids.

He’s definitely doing the right thing.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.