Bridesmaid duties can often come with unexpected roadbumps – both financial and emotional.

One woman had the misfortune of juggling her friend’s fast-approaching wedding with her own elopement plans.

After she brought up scheduling and financial conflicts, the bride was less than understanding – leaving the friendship strained by mounting expectations and a high price tag.

Read on for all the details.

AITA for asking for an estimate of the brides expenses that I’m expected to pay for on her Bach trip?

I let the bride know 4 months before her bachelorette trip and 1 week before the final headcount deadline of who all was going on this trip that I wouldn’t be able to go due to financial reasons.

I got engaged 2 months after the bride did and wanted to save money for our elopement.

The bride was incredibly upset and she told me that it wasn’t about my reason for not going, it was about my timing of when I told her.

But she didn’t exactly have much time to plan.

Her wedding is actually set on a fast track as she got engaged in December of 2023 and is getting married November of 2024.

She told me that I should’ve known this was coming up and I should have been saving for it.

Communication wasn’t exactly stellar either.

I also wanted to throw in that I never got an official ask to be a BM, I just got summoned by another BM to join a group chat called bride tribe.

That’s how I found out I was chosen so I never had the option to actually decline.

The bride continued with her unrealistic expectations.

Anyway, after disclosing my reasoning on why I couldn’t go, she told me that as her BM she has certain expectations and one of them is to attend the bach and I should’ve told her at her ENGAGEMENT PARTY that I couldn’t go.

She didn’t even know when her wedding date was during that time.

She tries to get on the same page with the bride, and it works for a while.

Anyway, I asked her what her expectations were of me as a BM moving forward so we were on the same page.

She said help throw and pay for her bridal shower, show up to rehearsal on time and of course show up on the official wedding day.

She said she was paying for hair and makeup and the BM dresses. I said okay, that’s fine I’m able to contribute to those things.

That is, until the other bridesmaids throw another curveball.

Fast forward, I get a text from the group chat saying that since 4/5 of us are not able to go on this 4 day trip, it would only be “fair and reasonable” to pay for the brides expenses.

As the date of the bach trip was approaching, I asked the MOH if she had an estimate on how much everything would be per person and I needed to know because I wasn’t sure what I would be able to contribute to the cost.

Apparently asking this question was not allowed.

She went off on me and also told me that it’s not her job to figure that out for me and I should’ve asked sooner.

She said she doesn’t know the cost because the trip hasn’t happened and I should just be ready to pay after the fact despite not knowing how much it’ll be.

Once again, the bride is left disappointed.

She cried to the bride who eventually called me and said that for the sake of our friendship, she is going to remove me as a bridesmaid since I have a lot going on and can’t meet her expectations and she doesn’t like to be disappointed.

I am still however, invited to the wedding.

AITA?

Talk about a bridezilla.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter didn’t find the woman’s request unreasonable at all.

Maybe it’s a good thing she won’t be involved of this dumpster fire of a bachelorette party.

This bride needs to adjust her expectations, like, yesterday.

The whole premise of the trip was messed up to begin with.

Her wedding may have went on, but their friendship didn’t quite make it to the altar.

While dresses can be tailored, some brides’ expectations cannot.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.