Rules are important, but there are times when we all know it would be best to just let it go.
What would you do if the head of your company caught you violating a small rule and forced you to get in trouble?
That is what the woman in this story experienced, but she found proof that the head of the company was also violating a rule that came with much bigger consequences.
You’re going to want all of the details on this one!
I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them…
So I work in college dorms in a sort of generic first response role – we do a bit of everything, mostly security, but also medical, fire, psych – it’s a weird and often quite tough job but quite rewarding.
These dorms are kinda like a gated community a couple miles away from the main campus.
At the top of this village there’s a hub where all the staff are based.
It also serves as a venue for events and has some facilities for the students (catering, gym etc) as well as a few meeting facilities in the staff area which any department in the college can book out if they so wish.
Between the staff parking spots and the back doors there are also disabled parking spaces.
Now, one day I was coming in for my (10-hour) night shift and to my dismay I found that all the staff parking spots were occupied, which basically never happens.
But I knew that the HR department had a big thing there that afternoon (in the meeting facilities I mentioned) so I figured out what was going on.
And though it’s not technically against the parking policy (they are college staff after all), usually, staff who don’t actually work in the building are expected to park in the visitor parking bays, not the staff parking.
It shouldn’t be a big deal.
So I had a problem.
It was 10 minutes till the start of my shift.
I’m not allowed to use the student car parks.
What about the visitor parking?
Well, that gets locked up overnight (until after my shift ends).
If I parked there, then in the morning I’d have to go unlock the visitor parking, bring the key back, leave, and one of my day shift colleagues would have to go lock it back up.
My only other option was to park down the hill, but then by the time I got there and walked back up I’d be late for my shift and miss the handover.
You see where this is going.
I want to make it clear that I would never normally park in a disabled bay. It’s generally a scummy thing to do.
I’m disabled myself, but not in a way that entitles me to use disabled parking.
However, there’s a few things to note here:
Nobody ever uses those bays, unless we have a disabled person coming in for an event, because the back door is key card access only and there’s no bell, so it’s little use to students or members of the public unless they’ve made a prior arrangement to be let in.
There weren’t any events scheduled that night, and the chances of someone disabled randomly deciding they need to park at the back of the hub (which is near nothing else) unannounced is negligible, never mind three of them – remember there’s three bays in total.
Besides, in the middle of the night they could just park next to it at the side of the road because there’s about as much traffic there at night as on Route 50.
No harm done.
So, I decided I’d park in one of the disabled bays – the one farthest from the door, next to the staff spaces.
Due to the long and unsociable hours I get to take breaks liberally as long as it doesn’t interfere with anything.
In the extremely unlikely event that more than 2 disabled people had called in to park and access the building, which I’d find out about during handover, I’d just take a break right after starting, drive my car away down the hill and walk back up.
I go in, get the handover, and as expected, no one is expected to come in.
I was the supervisor for that shift (our shift patterns are rotating and the longest in service is the supervisor).
So I set up my colleagues for the shift, log on, set up the cameras the way I want them, read my e-mails, turn on my radio, yada yada.
After a while I get one of the guys, Phil, to cover the cameras so I can go tell a resident he’s getting disciplined for vandalism.
I then have one of those golden sitcom moments where I open the office door right before someone was about to knock on it.
I recognize her immediately, she’s the Dean of Facilities – we’ll call her Karen.
Now, we’re not in the Facilities Section.
We’re in the Auxiliary Services Section. So, this lady is not my boss in any capacity.
She is, however, far higher up the food chain than me, so it’s this awkward situation where unless I have a great reason not to, I still have to bow down to her or I’ll get called in to HR for insubordination, especially since the building we’re in is technically operated by the Facilities Section.
Some more context: Karen is one of the most hated figures among low-level staff in the entire college, your classic power trip boss.
You can practically see the perverse arousal in her eyes whenever she talks down to anyone on a lower salary than her – which is all the time – and she’s pulled no end of downright evil actions in her many years with the institution.
So a startled Karen practically pushes me back into the office.
It turns out she was attending whatever event the HR department had on in the building that afternoon, and she was one of the people parked in the staff spaces out back.
Now, she doesn’t have an office in the building, so by convention she should be parking in the visitor spaces (but again, that’s not technically in the policy).
Wow, she sounds pleasant.
Anyway, she saw my car parked in the disabled bay on her way back to her car – she knows who I am, we’ve had numerous (always unpleasant) interactions in the past, and she saw my name on the staff sticker in my windshield.
Karen: “Where do you get off thinking you can park in the disabled bay, OP?”
Me: “Well, nobody uses those.”
Karen: “Oh what, so you think you’re above the rules just because it’s you who enforces them?”
Me: “Look, it’s no big deal, I’ll go move the car.”
Karen: “Oh no, not on the college’s time you don’t.”
Me: “I’ll take it off my break.”
Karen: “Nope. Breaks are for relaxation. Moving your car is not relaxation.”
Me: “Well, then what do you want me to do?”
Karen: “I want you to issue yourself the standard $70 fine.” (see what I mean about the power trip?)
Me: “Are you serious?”
Karen: “Absolutely. You need to learn that you don’t make the rules. You just enforce them.”
At this point I stare at her in disbelief.
Now, I have a short fuse at the best of times, and I really want to yell bloody murder at her, but I value my job, so I swallow my pride and go write myself a ticket.
More context there: We’re essentially subcontracted by the city to do the parking and traffic enforcement for all roads and parking on college land, so the authority behind these tickets is the city, not the college.
I know if I go talk to that vandal student now I’ll just let off steam at the kid unfairly, when it already wasn’t gonna be a pleasant talking-to.
I know that sitting and staring at the cameras would just make me seethe, so I go restock the staff kitchen, then talk to the kid, and after that I get back to the office.
Bear in mind that Phil, my buddy who I put on the cameras, witnessed the whole thing.
“Is the brat still here?”
I ask. “She’s just on her way out now,” he says pointing at one of the cameras, followed by “Huh, that’s weird, she’s leaving through the front.”
Karen regularly comes here to use the gym at the end of the work day – it’s free for students and staff.
That’s presumably what she was doing today, too, seeing as it’s now been a good 45 minutes since she humiliated me.
When she does that, she takes a cab home, because she lives at the opposite end of the city and traffic is a nightmare at this time in the evening, and we all know it’s a million times less awful being stuck in traffic if it isn’t you who’s driving.
She then takes a cab back in the next morning to pick up her car and drive to the main campus.
It’s now that I make a beautiful, almost erotic realization (yeah, yeah, I’m a hypocrite, sue me): I pull up the parking policy, scroll through it, and there it is, in delicious bold lettering.
It is not permissible for members of staff to leave their cars parked in a staff parking area during non-working hours.
It then lists a few exceptions (mainly breaks and stuff like that), none of which apply to Karen.
So I’m about to write a ticket when I have an even better idea.
Those are some high end cameras for a parking lot.
Y’see, our cameras are pretty snazzy.
About 6 years ago, all the cameras that monitor the roadways were updated to plate recognition cameras by the city.
So now on top of 40 days of saved camera footage, we also have the plate log, which has (so far) been kept indefinitely, and can be used to figure out when a car entered the compound and when a car left, since we only have three entry/exit roads.
I explain my plan to Phil.
He has absolutely no reservations about doing me a solid and spending time going back through the plate log system to see how many times Karen has left her car parked here overnight.
4 hours later, and he’s assembled all the dates.
Over the past 4 years and however many months, weeks and days since the plate system came online, Karen has left her car overnight on a staggering 585 (yes, FIVE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FIVE) separate occasions.
So I log into the city’s “Fine Portal” software.
Yep, that’s actually what it’s called. (You can only write tickets for ongoing/momentane violations; if you spot something using auxiliary systems like cameras or what have you after the fact, you need to issue a fine by mail.)
I put in her office address, and start entering all 585 dates, times, and copy and paste the reference to the exact part of the parking policy as well as the city statute that gives this policy the force of law, for each single one.
The result is a thing of beauty, spanning 13 pages, and totaling $40,950.
At this point, all the guys are back in the office so I call them round, knowing they’ll all enjoy this almost as much as me.
When I press “Log and print”, I’m hit with a warning I’ve never seen before: “The fine you are about to issue exceeds $10,000. Are you sure you wish to proceed?”
Everyone is dumbstruck; I start laughing, then Phil, and then everyone else.
It’s GLORIOUS. I print it, stuff it in a windowed, prepaid, city envelope, and put it in the external mail.
(The city doesn’t allow us to use the internal mail nor hand deliver fines, I guess it’s for paper trail reasons)
That would have been a great conversation to see.
The cherry on top is, I then get to also issue a ticket and put it under her windshield because of course she’s also there that night!
Of course, the next time I come in to work after she receives this, she’s waiting for me in the office.
Karen: “What the heck, OP? Do you really think this is gonna fly?”
Me (with puppy dog eyes): “What do you mean?”
Karen: “The ticket! The fines! Do you really think this will fly?”
Me: “Rules are rules, Karen.”
Karen: “You know as well as I do that that’s never actually been done here.”
Me: “Well, Karen…I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them.”
(exit Karen, stage right)
Now there’s more to this, some good, some bad. I’ll start with the bad:
Karen ended up suing, I had to go to court on my day off, the silver lining was I was theoretically there representing the city and so I wasn’t being sued personally and had the city attorney.
That is still a massive fine, I’m surprised they left it.
The court ended up reducing the fine to $10,000 which was apparently the city’s maximum for post facto fines issued at one time (I guess that’s why the warning was there).
But Karen had sued to get the fine dismissed entirely so it was still a victory, kinda.
She also tried to take it up with HR but the Dean of Auxiliary Services also hates her and he stuck up for me to HR so that went nowhere.
The best thing, though?
This year, I was appointed to the Auxiliary Services Policy Review Board.
Last week, I managed to get the parking policy amended.
It now says that if staff visit a building other than where their office is, unless they are teaching a class, they need to use visitor parking if there are fewer than 20 staff parking bays at the building and there are empty visitor bays.
So, starting in June, Karen won’t be allowed to park in the staff spots at all – and ironically, it turns out I now do, in fact, make the rules!
That is a huge fine for getting on her bad side.
Let’s see what the people in the comments think about it.
This person wants to give her an award!
Yeah, she says she shouldn’t have done it.
Good suggestion.
This person says she shouldn’t have parked in the handicapped spot.
She doesn’t make the rules Karen.
This was a thing of beauty.
If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.