Lifelong best friends are usually inseparable, but wedding antics can really put those bonds to the test.

When this bride decided her friend’s wife wasn’t welcome, this woman said she wouldn’t attend either, and things got complicated fast.

Read on for the story!

AITA for not attending my best friend’s wedding?

I (35f) have known my best friend (34f) since she was born (our parents were friends in college).

As long as I can remember, we’ve always been inseparable.

We went to different high schools and then different states for college and yet we have remained closer than ever.

This bond grew especially because my parents passed when I was 18.

Since then her parents took it upon themselves to act as my family, inviting me over for the holidays, sending me care packages, etc.

And so, she became the closest thing I have to a sibling.

How lovely!

A few weeks ago, my best friend (let’s call her Anya), her fiancé, and I visited our hometown where we stayed with Anya’s parents for a few days to plan her wedding.

It was all going well until we got to the guest list.

The guest list had pretty much been finalized at this point but it was my first time seeing it.

I noticed that my name didn’t have a plus one and that my wife’s name wasn’t on the list at all.

I assumed that it must have been a mistake so I asked Anya about it casually in front of everyone.

As soon as I asked, she got all tense and looked at her fiancé and parents weirdly.

At this point, it was clear to me that there was something going on that I didn’t know about.

Secrets, secrets are no fun…

I asked her what was going on and Anya cleared her throat awkwardly before telling me that the reason my wife wasn’t on the list was because she wasn’t invited.

I was shocked.

Anya and my wife aren’t particularly close but they have always been friendly with each other and never had bad things to say about the other person.

I asked her why, thinking it might have been a financial issue.

She again looked around awkwardly before eventually telling me the truth.

She was afraid that having my wife at her wedding and us being seen as a couple would take attention away from her on her big day.

Wow.

I feel it is important to mention at this point that Anya and I are both South Asian and Anya’s wedding is going to take place in India (although we live in the US) so that all her relatives and parents’ friends are able to attend.

At such a traditional event, it would indeed be an uncommon sight to see a couple like us together and honestly, it likely would take some of the attention off of Anya on her wedding day.

Knowing that, I can’t really blame Anya for wanting one day where the focus is solely on her and her soon to be husband.

However, I also don’t think I can attend an event where my partner isn’t welcome, regardless of the reason.

Fair…

My wife is the most important person in the world to me and although I respect Anya’s decision, I can’t bring myself to go to another country and to the wedding without my wife.

Anya, her parents, and our family friends are all extremely hurt by this decision and are telling me that I am being selfish.

After everything that Anya and her family have done for me, I can understand why.

But it still doesn’t change my decision to not attend the wedding.

AITA?

Torn between honoring her friendship and her marriage, the best friend chose to sit this one out, but now faces accusations of being selfish.

The people of Reddit all agree: That, wow. This is absurd.

This person says she isn’t her real friend if she does this.

This person thinks this is wildly unfair.

And this person wouldn’t go either. No ifs, ands or buts.

When wedding bells clash with personal values, sometimes RSVP-ing “no” is the only answer.

Honestly, what did the bride expect?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.