Friend Keeps Asking Her To Give Birth To His Child, And Her Refusals Are Straining Their Long-Term Friendship

Heather Hall

2 weeks ago

Having a baby is a life-altering experience, and it’s not something everyone feels comfortable doing.

But what happens when your best friend insists, year after year, that you be the one to carry his child, no matter how many times you say no?

Do you finally give in?

Or do you stand firm and refuse?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this exact scenario.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for telling my best friend I will NEVER give birth to his child?

I’ve known this friend, let’s call him Jared (30m) since we were in school.

We did everything together and were inseparable.

I was even the first person he came out to, and we’ve always supported each other.

When we were 15, he told me for the first time that he wanted me to give birth to his child with his future husband because he, being a man, could never get pregnant.

At the time, I told him no because I had recently watched a series where a woman gave birth to the triplets of his brother and became depressed afterward.

He couldn’t understand that she wouldn’t do it for anyone, even though she explained time and time again.

I’ve always been a sensitive person and suffer from anxiety and depression because of childhood trauma.

So, even at that age, I was aware that I couldn’t go through something like that.

But he got mad and didn’t talk to me for two days.

Then we went back to talking normally, but every now and then, he would bring up the topic again, getting angry every time I told him I would never do that for anyone, even if he paid me.

I explained to him a thousand times, but he didn’t seem to understand.

Eventually, he stopped mentioning it, and I thought he had finally matured and understood me.

Here’s where things got really tense.

But this year, his boyfriend proposed to him, and during a dinner with friends, he asked me again.

They said they would pay me well and that if I needed therapy, they would cover that expense, too.

But I got angry and told him that I would NEVER give birth to his child.

That I didn’t understand why he kept insisting that if he was so willing to compensate me well financially, he should save that money and pay a woman willing to do it.

But as always, he got mad at me and left the restaurant with his boyfriend following him.

Some of her friends agreed with her, while others took his side.

Most of my friends, women to be more precise, are on my side and agree that it’s uncomfortable that he keeps insisting.

Other friends from the community think I’m overreacting and that it would be a nice thing to do.

Most of my friends are on my side, but they think we should meet to talk about this more calmly.

But what bothers me the most is that he has been like this for years, and I always have to seek him out or wait for him to approach me again.

I appreciate him a lot because we’ve been friends for so long, 15 years, but I’m tired of this pointless argument and him getting mad at me for deciding about my body.

He always says he wants me to give birth to his child because I’m the person he trusts most in the world, but I really don’t want to do it.

But at the same time, I don’t want to lose him.

AITA?

It’s not nice to put your “best friend” in this situation.

Let’s see what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer her.

He really does need to take ‘NO’ for an answer.