Expecting a new mom who just had a c-section to babysit doesn’t sound like a good idea, but that’s exactly what happened to this woman.
Her brother-in-law is having a child-free wedding, and since she can’t go because she doesn’t want to leave her baby with a babysitter, everyone expects her to babysit their kids during the wedding.
She really doesn’t want to, though.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
AITA for refusing to babysit during BIL wedding
Me(32f) husband (34m). 2 weeks before our 2018 wedding, BIL got drunk during Hubby’s stag do.
BIL & 2 cousins shared group texts with everyone at party about me which were extremely offensive, resulting in an argument between husband & BIL.
No one ever apologised, in-laws covered for those involved, said I overreacted, it was just “British humour” – these comments mocked my appearance, non-Brit accent, family, & health issues.
I basically ignored everyone from that point on, always polite but distant & made no attempts at friendship.
She is pregnant, and her BIL is getting married.
At Christmas we announced our pregnancy/due date of August.
At same time BIL/FSIL announced their wedding date & venue for October 2023. The location is 2 hours from our house.
Few days later, MIL asks if I had looked at venue online which I had.
The venue caters to kid free events.
It’s a kid-free wedding.
I said to MIL that it looks lovely, but I was concerned about kid-free element & distance from our house since weddings are an ALL day thing.
MIL says “oh they’re not having a kid free wedding.”
We got invitation in the mail – it’s kid-free which is ok with us.
With invitation was note which read: at request of MIL/FIL they have reserved a guest room at the venue for us night of wedding.
She and her husband don’t plan on going to the wedding.
We politely replied to rsvp saying we wouldn’t be attending because we couldn’t leave our baby overnight as we have no one we feel comfortable leaving him with!
He’ll only be 7 weeks, I have no family in the UK, Hubby’s family will be at wedding & Hubby said he won’t go if baby & I aren’t going.
Next day MIL/FIL call upset we aren’t attending & say I could spend the day in the room during the wedding because: “it would look bad if hubby’s not there.”
Her father-in-law found a babysitter.
Hubby told them that was ridiculous to expect me to spend the day in a hotel room with my infant.
MY FIL argued that several cousins had small children & were still attending, but we stood firm.
1 week later, FIL announces that a cousin’s friend has agreed to watch all the families kids = 6 kids under 4y.o + our 7 week old in OUR home during wedding since it’s closest to venue.
We politely decline and explain I just had a c-section 8 days ago, I’m also not leaving my 7 week old overnight with 1 stranger & group of 6 kids.
Her mother-in-law and father-in-law lied about why she and her husband aren’t attending the wedding.
We thought that was the end of it.
3 days ago, get a message from one of the cousins asking to call about wedding.
I showed it to Hubby & we forgot about it until yesterday.
Cousins wife called wanting to know what items she should bring for her daughter…
Turns out, FIL & BIL told family that we aren’t attending to keep all the cousins’ children.
She is definitely not allowing the cousins to drop off their kids at her house.
I was MAD, told her that was not true. I wasn’t running an overnight drop in service for a bunch of people who didn’t even like me.
In-laws are saying my refusal is embarrassing & makes them & BIL look bad.
BIL has called repeatedly, several of group text participants have left messages to “chat”.
My husband & some family is on our side, but others feel like I’m being petty & holding a grudge to ruin BIL’s wedding. so AITA?
The husband’s parents are horrible for lying and telling everyone to drop their kids off at her place before going to the wedding.
The last thing new parents need is to babysit other people’s kids.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…
Some of the relatives will probably still try to drop off their kids.
A newborn baby is a good reason not to go to a wedding.
Here’s a way to get revenge…
The husband’s family has their priorities messed up.
Here’s the British perspective…
They should pretend like they’re not home in case some of their family still tries to drop off their kids.
What a mess this has turned into.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.