When families combine, love and loyalty aren’t always guaranteed to follow.
One teen feels indifferent to his new stepsisters, but is still expected to be part of their lives.
His father grows more and more disappointed that his son fails to feel the brotherly affection he always envisioned for his blended family.
Read on for the full story.
AITA for volunteering to help with my stepsisters for the wrong reasons?
My dad got married 6 years ago.
His wife’s two daughters were 2 and 3 then.
Their bio dad was out of the picture.
My mom passed 14 months before my dad got married. My parents had a one-night stand and weren’t ever a couple.
He’s having trouble adjusting to their new family dynamic.
To clarify some things: I (16M) don’t feel a bond with my stepsisters. I do sometimes spend time with them, but that’s more because they want it.
I never want to hang out with them, and I don’t enjoy it.
But I know my dad wants me to be a good “brother” to them.
His dad has high expectations when it comes to his son’s relationship with his step siblings.
He encourages me to spend time with them as much as I can.
He’ll always call them my sisters and looks disappointed that I only say stepsisters.
But yeah, I don’t really feel any closer to them now than I did 6 years ago.
It’s not that I dislike them either, though.
He recognizes it’s a different mindset for his young step sisters.
I know for them it’s really different because they were so much younger.
Even if I had any doubt because of that, they call me their brother—like, just their brother—and each say they have a brother and a sister.
He’s still expected to be involved in their lives, but he doesn’t mind because he’s usually rewarded for it.
Sometimes my dad or his wife won’t be able to do something for one or both girls (go to the park, walk to a friend’s house, take them to grab something at the store).
I volunteer for it because I always get paid for doing it.
It’s one of the ways everyone is happy.
I’m spending more time with the girls, which my dad and the girls like.
I get something out of it, which I like.
But his dad doesn’t think this is the right reason to be helping out.
My dad only recently figured out that I don’t do it out of love for the girls or a want to spend more time with them.
He’s disappointed in me now that I was volunteering for the wrong reasons.
His dad worries about the impact this may have on the girls as they grow up.
He said it’s hurtful and it’s going to really hurt them in a couple of years when they realize I don’t reciprocate their love.
He said it hurts him to know that 6 years of being siblings has meant nothing to me.
He pointed out that they were so little when they became my “sisters” and he doesn’t understand how I don’t feel protective and caring for them by now.
Dad just won’t let go of how disappointed he is.
Dad figured it out because he joined in on some of my therapy sessions (yes, I have a therapist) and pieced stuff together based on what I was saying.
My dad keeps bringing it up to me and reminding me of how disappointed he is.
AITA?
Family doesn’t always follow a script and genuine bonds can’t be forced.
Redditors chime in with their thoughts.
The way this commenter sees it, what this teen is feeling is perfectly normal and expected.
Just because a bond hasn’t formed yet doesn’t mean all hope is lost for the future.
If the father won’t listen to his son, maybe he will listen to the therapist.
It’s high time the father gets the spotlight turned back on him for a change.
For now, this teen is left to navigate the gap between love and obligation.
He wishes he could change his feelings to appease his dad, but family bonds aren’t built on demand.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.