When plans have been in place for weeks, the last thing you expect is for someone to get upset about them at the last minute.
So, what would you do if you’d already cleared a sleepover with your mother-in-law, but just as you’re about to pick up your guest, the father-in-law decides he has a problem with it?
Would you call him and clear up the confusion?
Or would you back out of the plans?
In the following story, one couple finds themselves in this exact situation.
Here’s what happened.
AITA I refused to call to ask for permission from FIL after already getting the ok from my MIL
My wife (23F) and I (24M) wanted to have her sister (10F) over for a sleepover since she’s been asking to stay over for a while now.
My FIL is a very conservative Christian, and her family lives in a small town about an hour away from where we live.
We asked MIL a couple of weeks ago if she could stay over, and there was no issue.
My wife went alone to pick up her sister, but first, she wanted to do some other things in the town.
Just as she was about to pick up her sister, they found out that the father was upset.
On her way there, my wife got a message from her mom asking if we asked her dad because he was upset we didn’t ask him directly.
My wife then called me asking what to do, and we came to the conclusion that we shouldn’t pick up her sister.
My logic was that clearly, he was not okay with it; otherwise, he would raise no objections when his wife told him.
It kind of felt like he wanted us to call him so either he could tell us no or so he would feel in charge.
We had played that dance before and didn’t want to do it again.
We felt bad because, at the end of the day, the person who was really hurt was the sister, but we wanted to stand our ground.
The next day, the mother dropped her off with little warning.
So we called MIL in the evening, and she said she was coming into town the next day (Sunday) and might be able to get permission from her husband to take the sister.
Her husband was “thinking about it.”
(We still haven’t called FIL and don’t plan on it.)
It was inconvenient for us since we cleared our Saturday for the sleepover, assuming we could get chores done on Sunday.
So at 10 in the morning (2 hours before they would arrive), MIL texted me that the sister was coming.
It felt last minute to me and almost like we couldn’t say no without being the bad guys.
Anyway, her sister gets dropped off, and we spend the day with her.
I asked MIL about the problems yesterday, and she basically said that her husband didn’t want us to watch any movies (he’s talking about showing her kids movies like Disney or whatever) with the sister.
Here’s where they’re at now.
So, obviously, I asked why he didn’t text us or something, and I didn’t get an answer.
Then I asked how long in advance she told her husband that we were taking the sister, and she said a few days in advance.
So I asked her why the problem only came as my wife was driving to pick up her sister.
Again, no real answer.
I feel like the path of least resistance would have been having my wife or me calling, but we didn’t want to cave in to the weird demand.
I do feel like I was petty by not calling but I wanted to stand my ground.
AITA?
Yikes! There’s nothing like being caught in the middle.
Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit related to this story.
Here’s some great advice.
It seems he was concerned about what they would let her watch.
This person thinks the FIL will never change, so there’s no use trying.
It seems strange that they didn’t discuss it before the day of the sleepover.
In most cases, the MIL’s permission would be enough.
Conversations are needed here.
They should use this as a lesson learned and understand that from now on, it’s best to ask the in-laws at the same time about their daughter.
If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.