Losing family is never simple, but honoring their memory can be even more complicated when the bond was strained to begin with.

A woman who never saw eye-to-eye with her late mother-in-law now finds herself struggling to keep up with her husband’s family’s intense expectations for remembrance.

You’ll want to read on for this story.

AITA for not flying home twice in a month for MIL’s birthday and anniversary?

My husband’s mother passed away 3 years ago.

She was diagnosed with cancer and unfortunately passed within a year.

Her MIL wasn’t exactly her favorite person.

I didn’t have the best relationship with her, as she was very traditional and would make very rude and offensive comments towards me.

My husband and I have the same qualifications and jobs, but I was still expected to do everything around the house, cook etc.

So, we were never very close.

But she put all that aside in the months preceding her going.

Regardless, obviously I was there for her and my husband after her diagnosis.

When we found out she was terminally ill, we were about to start our summer holidays.

We are both teachers and live in another country, over 3 hours away from his home city by plane.

The couple made many sacrifices during that time to support her.

We cancelled all of our summer plans and flew back to spend 7 weeks with his parents, helping out as much as we could.

When she passed away, we both got time off work to go back home again.

But all that sacrifice still isn’t enough for some people…

My current issue is that my husband and his father don’t think that I’m doing enough to honor her memory.

The main issue is that her anniversary is coming up soon, which of course I will fly over for and attend.

They have some pretty unrealistic expectations that’s starting to put a strain on her life.

However, it is also her birthday in the same month, and I’m expected to fly over again for a family meal.

This means, that in 1 month, I have to fly to another country twice from Friday evening to Sunday.

I can’t get any holiday time because of my profession.

It is expensive (as well as flights, we have to arrange a pet sitter) and exhausting as it is the most tiring time of the year.

His home city is a 2-hour drive from the airport – so 10 hours of traveling in 1 weekend.

She tries to offer alternatives, but her family won’t hear it.

I am more than happy for my husband to go back as often as he needs to.

I have also suggested that we find a half-way point to meet which has been shut down.

I feel like I’m being guilted and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable?

AITA?

It seems like no matter her efforts, she still comes up short.

Redditors chime in with their thoughts.

This commenter thinks her family is asking way too much of her, especially considering her relationship with her late MIL.

How sustainable is this tradition really?

Even if they were close, this is a crazy expectation.

This commenter wonders who all this pomp and circumstance is really for.

She’s trying her best to honor her MIL’s memory, but she has limits that need to be honored too.

At this rate, no amount of travel will bridge the distance.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.