She even asked if her friend wanted to hear the news firsthand.
But when she shared her pregnancy, the reaction wasn’t at all what she expected—and it may have shattered their friendship for good.
Check it out.
AITA for telling my best friend that I am pregnant?
I (33f) have been in a very close friendship with N (31f) for about 8 years.
We have been through a lot of things together and for the last year and a half I’ve been on her side for her infertility journey.
She has been through 2 inseminations and 2 rounds of IVF, all to no avail.
She has PCOS and she doesn’t ovulate naturally.
Poor girl.
We started with our partners at around the same time, and in the past I told her that I would start trying for a baby at the end of last summer.
I asked her if I got pregnant, if she wanted to know, and she said that I could tell her.
A couple of months ago her 2nd round of IVF failed and she was obviously devastated.
She told me that she didn’t want to talk about pregnancies when we met, and we didn’t.
In that time I knew I was pregnant, but didn’t say.
Lips are sealed.
Two weeks later she called me and told me doctors had found a possible cause of why IVF wasn’t working, and she was under an infection treatment and would try again in a month.
I was very excited for her.
We set a date to meet in around 10 days.
As she was the one to start talking about the topic again, I decided I would tell her I am pregnant, cause I was already 10 weeks and was going to announce it soon publicly and I’d rather she knew by me.
So when we met, we talked about her a little, and then I told her.
Her reaction was cold and she just said: “oh, congratulations, then.”
And then she said: “that was fast, huh?”
Ouch.
I was kinda taken aback but gave her grace because of her situation, I just had expected she could be happy for me, but it was okay, so I gave her time and space and didn’t talk for a month.
A month later, I asked about an exam she had at work.
She answered with a 4 minute long audio telling me she was offended that I had told her about my pregnancy when she specifically asked not to talk about that topic.
And that she didn’t want to hear from me or see me again for a while.
I was really taken aback and told her she was the first one to talk about the topic again.
I thought she was optimistic with the new discoveries and treatment so she would be happy for me, and I was hurt about her deciding when or how we can be friends.
Double ouch.
This was a month ago and we haven’t spoken since then.
I think about her sometimes and worry about her, but on the other hand I am hurt that she doesn’t want to be my side or my baby’s.
And if she does come back, I don’t know if that’d be a healthy friendship.
So, AITA?
Both women are left questioning if the friendship can heal or if it’s been damaged beyond repair.
The general consensus?
Reddit thinks she isn’t the AH.
This person says she did nothing wrong at all.
This person suggests that maybe it was more of a tone issue.
This person knows what her friend has been through, and while she isn’t an AH, she might still want to reach out.
When support turns into hurt, is there any path back to understanding?
It may be a long time before these two can patch things up.
If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.