When a family member is getting married, most people will want to be there with them to give support.

What would you do if you didn’t realize that you weren’t invited to your cousin’s wedding, and then she asked why you were there when you weren’t wanted?

That is what happened to the young lady in this story,.

When she found out why she wasn’t invited, she was hurt and the argument caused a scene.

Read on for details.

AITA for assuming I was invited to my cousin’s wedding, and “making a scene” when I found out I wasn’t?

My (18f) cousin’s (22f) wedding was this weekend.

I’ll call her Mary.

Growing up, we were pretty close, as me and my siblings (20f and 23m) often went to Mary’s house.

Growing apart is normal as people get older.

Lately, we haven’t seen each other much, because all of them moved away for college, but it’s still nice to see each other at family events.

A year and a half ago, she met her now husband.

He was invited to Christmas, Easter, and every family event since then.

When he was there, I noticed that Mary was a lot more distant than usually and barely talked to me but talked with my siblings all night.

No big deal I suppose.

I figured it was probably just because of our age difference.

A few weeks/months ago, we got an invitation to their wedding in the mail.

Or at least my parents did.

My name wasn’t mentioned on the invitation, which was addressed to “The ourlastnames”, but since I still live with my parents, and my brother and sister both got one, I assumed I was included, and so did my parents.

But Mary’s face dropped when she saw me.

She pretended to smile but I could see something was bothering her.

The wedding went on, but during the cocktail Mary came up to me and asked me why I came, since she didn’t send me an invitation.

I was taken aback a bit, but told her that we assumed I was included, and asked her why she didn’t invite me.

Wow, that’s a bit extreme.

She avoided the question, but after insisting a bit she told me that she wanted her husband’s family to have a good impression of her family.

She didn’t want them to know that her cousin was a lesbian, because she wanted to have a “normal family”.

For context, our family is pretty open minded, and all of them accept me, but her husband and his family are a lot more traditional and conservative.

What I don’t understand is, I don’t “look gay” (whatever that means), and they would’ve never known unless someone told them.

I was so shocked.

I told her that she was sick for caring about impressing a bunch of bigots more than her own cousin.

Likely not the best time to have this conversation.

She got mad at me and we both got a bit loud, which attracted attention.

People came to find out what was happening.

When they found out, my parents said that she was being mean and shouldn’t have made a big deal about this.

A bunch of other people said that it was wrong of me to come when I wasn’t invited.

Mary started telling me to leave, so I stormed off.

Since, I have been receiving texts from her and her parents saying that I was wrong for coming, making a scene, and ruining her big day.

I understand that it’s her wedding and she can invite whoever she wants, but her words were so hurtful.

She was invited as far as I can tell.

And I genuinely thought I was invited.

But I know it’s wrong that I caused such a scene on her wedding day.

Maybe I should’ve just left and not said anything?

AITA?

This bride had some pretty gross reasons for her actions.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

Perfect explanation.

I agree with this commenter.

The cousin put her on the spot and caused the scene.

Good question.

Yeah, she clearly was invited.

Her cousin was really out of line.

But it sounds as if she’s picked her poison.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.