Imagine tirelessly planning and prepping healthy meals to support your partner’s weight loss journey, only to discover that they’re cheating!

That’s what happened to this woman, and now she’s done playing coach. But now, things are tense at home.

Read on for the story!

AITA for telling my husband I’m done trying to help him lose weight

My (F31) husband (M34) have been together for 7 years, married 2.

Lately, he has expressed disappointment in his weight gain and appearance.

He’s never been athletic or a big exerciser, but was always slender and lean.

Maybe it’s genes or age catching up to him, but he’s gained about 30 lbs over 2 years, and his physical shows he has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and vitamin D deficiency.

His family also has a history of diabetes and heart disease, which he has been very concerned about since his physical.

All these factors brought him to the decision that he needs to lose some weight and get a little more active.

Time to hit those goals!

A few years ago I dropped 25 lbs and have kept it off.

When I saw him struggling to stick to a diet, I offered to develop him a meal program and help him see it through.

He’s been diagnosed with ADHD and often struggles with planning and impulse control.

He seemed excited for the help, but said he felt a little bad having me do extra work.

I told him I’d love to help and I got right to work.

I calculated his TDEE and built a whole meal plan around his calorie goal to lose 1-2 lbs per week.

Every weekend for a month, I cooked, packed, and labeled every meal for him.

It was a large variety of dishes to keep it interesting and delicious.

Wow. Wonderful wife alert.

Every day before work, I’d pack him breakfast, lunch, and a snack.

Dinner was also a meal prep when he got home.

I explained to him that if he sticks to what I’ve made, he will stay within his calorie allowance and see results.

Inexplicably, every week at his weigh in, his weight went up 1-2 lbs.

We moved his weigh ins from Mondays to Fridays.

I recalculated his TDEE.

I reassessed my calorie calculation on my recipes.

He wasn’t weight lifting.

He promised he was sticking to the meal preps.

It didn’t make sense why he’d be gaining weight.

Hmm…

This morning, I reworded my questions a little.

I asked him if he was eating anything at work besides the meal preps.

He told me after he finishes his meal preps, he’ll go to a restaurant near work and get another meal during lunch.

He keeps a bag of candy in his desk eat throughout the day.

At night after I’ve gone to bed, he’ll eat 2-3 meal preps or make a sandwich with a bowl of cereal.

By my calculations, he was eating more than twice his max calorie range.

He told me he thought when I said “sticking to the meal preps” that meant eating the entirety of the meal preps and then it wouldn’t matter what additional stuff he ate, he’d still lose weight.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I was frustrated, but I calmly told him there’s no way he could have thought that’s what I meant.

I told him I’m sympathetic to his ADHD and how it might make this journey difficult, but if it’s something he wants, he needs to try.

He told me no one asked me to help him, so I told him “that’s fair. I’m done trying to help you with this.”

And things have been weird between us since.

Sometimes, you can offer all the help in the world, but if the other person isn’t ready, it’s just a recipe for resentment.

This person says Hubs is either dumb or lying through his teeth.

This person thinks she is certainly NTA…there was SO much work she did!

This person says he’s not worth any more time.

This couple’s health goals may need a new plan—one that doesn’t start in the kitchen.

What a jerk.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.