How many times can you forgive someone who just keeps letting you down?

And how come, when that person is a parent, the number seems to be way higher?

The girl in this story has been constantly let down by her father; this time she really needs him, and he’s dropped the ball once again.

This time, his excuse may be genuine, but he’s broken promises too many times to be believed.

Read on to discover exactly what happened.

AITA for telling my dad he chose between me and his fiancée when he prioritized her surgery over mine?

I am 17, and have had a rocky relationship with my dad.

My parents married after I was born, hoping to provide a stable family for me, but they divorced when I was 11 after my dad went to rehab, and things only worsened from there.

During rehab, he met his current fiancée, and they later had a kid (she is now six). Since then, my dad has been mostly absent from my life—whenever I have important events, he either has an excuse or doesn’t show.

I’d estimate he’s been present for less than half of my events since their divorce.

She really needed her dad to be there for her.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with scoliosis, and initially, surgery wasn’t needed. However, my condition got worse, and I was finally scheduled for surgery on the 20th November of this year.

I told my dad about it months ago, expressing how much I needed his support this time, and he promised he’d be there. But later, he texted to say he’d planned a vacation that would keep him away until mid-December, just as my recovery period would be ending.

It broke my heart, but I accepted it.

Then, two hurricanes hit his vacation spot, and he told me he’d make my surgery.

I felt a glimmer of hope.

But then, just a week before my surgery, he texted again saying his fiancée’s lung cancer surgery had been scheduled for the same day, a few hours before mine, at a hospital that was thirty minutes away.

She felt rejected by her dad.

He said he “might not” make it to my surgery; with him, “might not” usually means “won’t.” He added that this wasn’t about who he loved more.

That message shattered me.

I realized that no matter how much I hoped, he might never give me the attention and support I needed.

I broke down on my kitchen floor that day.

She didn’t believe her dad.

After sitting with my feelings, I texted him to tell him how deeply his actions hurt me. I said it wasn’t only about love but about showing care, and that he’d given me hope only to let me down again.

I questioned if his fiancée’s surgery had really been scheduled last minute, or if he had known earlier but hadn’t told me. I asked him to show he was my dad through his actions, not just his words.

He responded, insisting the surgery was only scheduled the day he’d told me. But because he’s lied in the past to save face, I reached out to someone who might know the truth.

She’s made her feelings known and is still waiting for a response.

I then sent a follow-up message, clarifying that my frustration wasn’t with his fiancée; it was with his ongoing absence and lack of support.

I said that even if his reasons were genuine, he could have at least shown some empathy. I told him I hoped he’d be a better father for my half-sister than he has been for me.

In a final message, I made it clear that I was done putting in all the effort to maintain our relationship on my own. I told him that if he wanted to be my dad, I would gladly be his daughter, but if he chose not to, I would be fine with that too.

He hasn’t responded, and honestly, I’d prefer he sit with what I’ve said. For once, I hope he really thinks about his actions and the impact they’ve had on me.

AITA?

This girl is left questioning whether she’s in the wrong for needing her father during major surgery? Not okay.

She’s definitely not the one who should be explaining herself.

Let’s see how Reddit judged her situation.

One person gave her a tough, but kindly-delivered life lesson.

While this person also encouraged her to move on from her unreliable dad.

Others pointed out that, in this case, his excuse was justified – though that doesn’t make any of his other behaviors okay.

He shouldn’t have given his daughter hope if he was going to dash it once again.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.