A surprise birthday party should be something that brings joy, but for for this young woman, it became a painful reminder of all the unresolved conflicts in her life.

Her boyfriend, in an attempt to reconnect her with her estranged family, ignored her wishes and then turned on her when she reacted with anger and disappointment.

Read on for the full scoop.

AITA for ‘ruining the surprise’ my boyfriend organized for my birthday?

My boyfriend (26M) and I (23M) have been dating for a little over eight months, and in early November, it was my birthday.

I was excited, as it was the first time we were going to spend either of our birthdays together, and he had spent all of October teasing a ‘surprise’ he was planning.

There are some important things to keep in mind.

I should mention I have a very complicated relationship with my parents. He knows this, and we have spoken in detail about why that is the case.

My parents are out of my life and have been for the past two years; he knows all this.

Because of my relationship with my parents, for the last couple of years, I spent my birthday with my best friend, who I consider family.

She thought her boyfriend knew all of this and would take it into consideration when planning…

So, when my boyfriend let it slip on my birthday that the surprise he had planned was a family dinner, I had sort of assumed it meant my sister and her husband, and my friend and her partner.

I was wrong.

When the day came, her worst fears were confirmed.

The surprise he had planned was flying in my parents from a whole different city.

I was confused as to why he would bring them, but I might have overreacted.

I don’t think I even stayed there for more than thirty minutes before I walked out of the restaurant and drove home.

I don’t really remember much of it, I just couldn’t sit there and listen to my parents belittle me while my boyfriend was sitting there.

She thought her boyfriend was going to be sympathetic to her pain…

The next day, my boyfriend showed up to my place.

I knew we were going to talk about the previous day, but I guess I was expecting him to apologize.

He didn’t.

But he started hurling accusations instead.

Instead, he got angry at me for ‘ruining the surprise’ he had been planning for a long time, and he said he just wanted to give me a chance to have a normal relationship with my parents.

I understand where he is coming from, I guess, but I really didn’t appreciate the way he went about it.

She tries to share her point of view, but he won’t hear it.

I told him this, and he wasn’t really receptive.

He just said that as my boyfriend, he had a right to want to know my parents.

I can really see what he means, but I can’t help but still feel like I’m owed an apology.

So, AITA for ruining my birthday surprise?

What he saw as a chance for reconciliation, she saw as a painful reminder of what she was trying to escape.

What did Reddit think?

It was wrong for her boyfriend to push his fantasies of a “normal” family dynamic on her.

This commenter finds the boyfriend’s actions incredibly selfish.

In fact, this “good deed” of his probably had way more to do with him than it did with her reconnecting with her family.

If this is where the disrespect starts, then who knows where it will end?

His “thoughtful gesture” missed the mark the second he chose to ignore her feelings.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.