He Was Adopted By A Great Family, And Even Though His Biological Sister Had A Different Experience, He Doesn’t Think He Owes Her Anything

Michael Levanduski

12 months ago

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

It can be heartbreaking when kids have to go into the foster care system, but in some cases, it ends up being a very good thing for them.

What would you do if you were adopted out of foster care and lived an incredible life, but your sister wasn’t and is now struggling as an adult?

That is what is happening to the young man in this story, and his biological sister is trying to force herself into his new family years later.

Check it out.

AITA for telling my bio sister I’m sorry she wasn’t adopted but that doesn’t have anything to do with me and I owe her nothing?

I (25M) was placed in the foster system by my bio parents when I was 2yo.

I was adopted some time later by my real parents.

I recognize that I’m extremely fortunate and lucky to have been adopted before I had any real memory of the system, and that my parents gave me a better life than I would have ever had if I had stayed with my bio parents.

This person seems to appreciate what he has.

I grew up privileged, went to private schools, had holidays abroad and had my tuition paid fully when I started Uni.

I was loved, and never lacked anything.

I currently have a well paying job as chemical engineer, a beautiful wife, a house paid off fully by my in laws, and 2 children.

I’m very grateful for everything I have and recognize that I would be leading a very different life had I not been adopted.

Last year I was contacted by Opel (27F) who claimed I was her brother and wanted to meet up.

After careful consideration I agreed.

After doing a DNA test together and digging a bit into family history, Opel and I discovered that we were placed into foster care around the same time.

Usually foster care will try to keep siblings together, but for some reason we were not registered as siblings.

We were placed into different foster homes (probably due to having a different dad/surname, and being given up by different people).

I do feel bad for her.

Opel got very upset by this discovery.

Even more so after she found out that while she was never adopted, I had lived a good life with loving parents.

After the discovery, Opel started calling and asking to hangout with my parents and I, or asking me to do certain favors for her.

It got uncomfortable really quickly since to be frank I don’t know her that well, in all aspects except genetically she is a total stranger to me.

I don’t feel comfortable landing her money or introducing her to my entire family.

She even made a couple of comments that made me uneasy when she asked me if I thought my parents would have adopted her also had they known she existed when I was adopted, and if I think they would accept her into the family now.

Why would she be invited to this?

Last night she called me again, this time to complain how she saw that the women in my family had a get together over the weekend and how she felt excluded since she didn’t get an invite.

I told her that I get that she’s upset but that was a family get together for all the women and she’s not family to them, so she’s not entitled to an invitation.

Wow, she seems very entitled.

Opel began screaming at me how it was unfair and how since I’m considered family she should be considered too by extension.

That I owe it to her to make sure my family invites her next time since it’s the least I could do for her as someone who got adopted.

I told her I’m sorry she feels excluded and that she wasn’t adopted but neither my family nor I owe her anything before hanging up the phone.

Since then I’ve been receiving non stop texts calling me an evil jerk, I’m starting to second guess myself and need an outside perspective on the situation.

AITA?

She is not entitled to anything and she needs to learn that quick or she won’t even be able to be your friend.

Let’s read some of the comments to get other perspectives.

This guy can’t give her what she needs.