When you’re the child of a broken marriage, navigating family dynamics can be tricky.

But what if you were neglected by one parent your whole life, then publicly abused by their new partner?

Should you try to get along for the sake of the family? Or should you, an adult, stand your ground?

This is exactly the predicament facing the man in this story, whose family are pressuring him to reconcile ahead of the holidays.

Read on to discover the full story.

AITA for refusing an impossible demand from my fair-weather bio dad?

I am a 41-year-old man and grew up entirely with my single mother. My other parent (biological father) transitioned when I was 15 and now lives as a woman called Jane.

Jane is 77, and was a CEO entrepreneur who met my mom because she was scraping by as an assembly line worker.

Jane abandoned me after I was born because “taking care of a baby is impractical while running a business,” and my mother “already has another kid, so it makes more sense.”

As I grew, Jane dropped in 1-2 times a year to take me on short trips to places she wanted to see. Then she would send my mom angry letters afterward about how improper it was that I sipped the milk directly from my cereal bowl and didn’t own “three levels of clothing” for different events.

Yikes! Let’s see how this situation developed.

When I was 18, Jane got herself an absolutely wretched girlfriend who would later become her wife. Lena is 67 and a trust fund baby who has never worked a real day in her life. She has three spoiled rotten children.

For two decades, her relationship with Jane consisted of screaming fights, outrageous jealousy, possessiveness, vindictiveness, and hyper-controlling aggression marked by explosive public tantrums and verbal assaults on everyone else in Jane’s life.

Many years ago in my early 30s, Lena publicly attacked me at Jane’s birthday dinner over a completely incorrect idea of why I parted ways with an ex-partner years earlier. She did this in front of my current partner, and demanded outrageous and intrusive details about my private life over it.

I calmly told her it was none of her business, and I left. Amends were never made, because unsurprisingly, Lena never took responsibility for her outrageous behavior.

Read on to find out what happened next.

A few years later, Jane finally divorced Lena, but in the aftermath, we never really got much closer. Frankly, I don’t really trust Jane and she has never been there for me.

She still only reaches out to me when it’s convenient for her, and shows zero reflection on how a lifetime of parental neglect affected me and complicated every part of the way I grew up and found a place in the world.

Recently, Jane has decided not just to reconcile with Lena, but that they will soon remarry.

She now wants me to accept and forgive all past “gripes and grievances” as she has, and become “one big happy family.”

Uh-oh. Let’s see what the son had to say to that!

I have held my ground and refused to allow someone so unstable back into my life, and especially around my wife or children.

To be honest, I am morally offended by Jane’s cluelessness, and in our last conversation, I lost my temper and told her off.

How can someone who put in a such low effort for 41 years now come around demanding the moon and stars from me?

Her position is that if I don’t allow this toxic, volatile person back into my life, she will disinherit me. I refused.

Last week, a relative reached out and asked me to go to therapy and reconcile. Her argument? The holidays are coming and it’s inconvenient that we are estranged. I’m at wits end here.

AITA?

Wow, this son has been put in an impossible situation.

Imagine being hurt through your life, confronted by your parent’s abusive new partner, and expected to just be chill about it all?

That is absolutely not okay.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought that while therapy might be a good option, it was absolutely not for the reason the relative suggested.

While others agreed that this was not the family member’s place to get involved.

And others juggled the moral and financial implications of reconciliation.

And others felt sorry for the child and encouraged strength from the adult son.

It might be convenient for Jane and Lena to play happy families now, but where was that sentiment all those years ago?

It’s no wonder that this adult son is upset: he’s been neglected his whole life and now he’s expected to suck it up and be happy for them?

If you choose to neglect your child, you lose any right to call the shots.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.