Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time when families come together and feel thankful for everything they have including each other.

Instead, Thanksgiving is often a day that involves a lot of family drama when relatives that don’t always get along try and fail to get along.

In today’s story, a woman hosts Thanksgiving dinner for her family, but she can’t stop herself from speaking up when her mom starts complaining.

Let’s see how the drama escalates…

AITA for Telling My Mom to Stop Playing the Victim and Ruining Thanksgiving?

My mom and I have always had a strained relationship.

Growing up, I learned early that everything had to be about her, her needs, her feelings.

I was expected to manage my emotions around her, tiptoeing through every interaction to keep the peace.

If something didn’t go her way, she’d somehow twist the situation until she was the one hurt, the one who’d “done everything right” and was never appreciated.

I hated the way it made me feel, but I told myself that one day, I’d have a chance to set boundaries, to live my life without walking on eggshells.

She has decided to host Thanksgiving but wants it to be drama free.

But as an adult, nothing’s really changed.

I still find myself anxiously checking my tone, weighing every word before I speak, just to keep her from making herself the victim.

This year, I decided to host Thanksgiving for the family, and I promised myself it’d be a peaceful day.

My mom could come, but I’d just focus on keeping things calm.

No drama.

Thanksgiving was drama free for awhile.

Things were fine at first.

My dad was cracking jokes, everyone was catching up, and I started to think maybe this time would be different.

Then, as we sat down to eat, my mom started in.

Her mom painted herself as the victim.

First, it was the small jabs and comments about how I “never call,” how I’m always “too busy” for her.

I tried to brush them off, but then she moved on to bigger things, saying how “family means so much to her” but she feels like she’s the only one who cares.

That’s when she launched into her usual spiel about how much she’s sacrificed, how no one appreciates her, and how she’s such a “good mother who’s never shown gratitude.”

She couldn’t stop herself from speaking up.

I could feel my blood start to boil.

I tried to hold my tongue, but I couldn’t do it.

I snapped and said, “Mom, you really need to stop playing the victim. It’s exhausting, and it’s why we don’t get along.”

Her mom said she “ruined Thanksgiving.”

The room went dead silent.

She sat there, shocked, before her face crumpled, and she started crying.

She called me cruel, heartless, and said I’d ruined Thanksgiving.

She said she’d only ever tried to love me, but I was too “selfish” to see it.

She stormed out, and my dad followed her, giving me a sad look, like he knew this was coming but couldn’t do anything about it.

She feels like she needed to say what she said.

Now the family is completely divided.

Some of my relatives have called me to say they understand, that she needed to hear it, but others think I was heartless, that I could’ve been kinder or more tactful.

They keep saying she’s my mother and that one day I’ll regret speaking to her this way.

But a part of me feels like I had to say it; if I didn’t draw a line now, I’d be stuck in this cycle forever.

She wonders if she should’ve kept quiet.

I’m conflicted because I never wanted to hurt her, especially not on Thanksgiving.

I just couldn’t keep pretending her behavior was okay.

She refuses to see her role in our issues, and I’m tired of always being the one who has to accommodate her feelings.

So… AITA for finally telling her the truth, even if it hurt her?

There was probably a more tactful way of saying what she said.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story…

It wasn’t possible for her to be tactful.

She shouldn’t expect her mom to change.

She didn’t do anything wrong.

Really, her mom won’t change.

It’s unlikely she’ll regret this conversation.

Sometimes it’s better to stay quiet, but that’s not always possible!

Honestly is usually the best policy.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.