What started as a kind gesture—letting a husband’s ex move in post-divorce—has turned into a co-parenting dream for some, but a scandalous mistake in the eyes of others.
After two months of harmony, family opinions have sparked doubts about boundaries and intentions.
Read on for the full story.
WIBTA if I tell my husbands ex she has to move out?
I (35F) have been married to my husband (37M) for 1 year but we’ve been together for 3. He has 2 children (6F) (8M) from his previous relationship. (We do not have any kids together.)
Their mom Anne (34F) has one other child (4F). They have a good co-parenting relationship and Anne and I get along.
The Last week Anne picked up the kids (we have week on week off) she told us that the kids might need to spend a few weeks with us because her and her current husband are getting a divorce.
The house is in his name (he had it when they got together) and she’s been a stay at home mom for their whole relationship. She said she was going to stay with her sister but they don’t have enough room for all 3 kids.
Nothing says “good co-parenting” like an impromptu extended staycation.
I jumped in before my husband could say anything and offered her the guest room and told her the girls can share a room here just like they do at her house. That way she didn’t have to miss her time with the kids and we could help with her daughter while she gets a job and gets things figured out.
She thanked us and said she’d let us know when she would be moving out as soon as she could.
My husband asked me if was 100% okay with it, and that it would be fair to get her in here and then have an issue later.
I told him I was okay and we’d work through anything that comes up.
Sounds like a reality show called “Exes Under One Roof.”
That was 3 months ago, she’s lived with us for 2 months now and everything is great. It’s actually better than great if I’m being honest. Having her here means I don’t have to take both kids to the store if I need something for dinner. Housework is divided between 3 people.
She’s gotten a job and isn’t having to pay for childcare (which is about $700 a week in our area) Even though I told her she didn’t have to she is giving us $500 a month for bills.
I was talking to my sister and cousin at our early thanksgiving and my sister said I’m crazy for letting her stay with us. That I’m “devaluing myself as a partner” and “being an jerk to myself” for allowing this to continue.
Well, no need to turn Thanksgiving into a Dr. Phil special.
My cousin agrees with her. She said the only reason his ex would agree to stay is if she still wanted to sleep with him and him agreeing means he wants it too.
I don’t see them behaving any differently than before, and I truly trust my husband. But now I’m starting to doubt my decision.
WIBTA if I tell her she needs to find somewhere else to live? AITA to myself if I don’t listen to them and let her stay?
Is it time to ask the ex to pack her bags, or is this just family-fueled paranoia?
Reddit agrees that she WOULD be the AH if she kicked her out.
…Because if everything is so great, why fix what’s not broken?
This person offers a new way to think about it.
This person thinks it’s pretty awesome.
Sharing a roof with the ex sounds messy, but maybe it’s just actually mature?
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.