When you live in a large building filled with condos, what one person does will have a direct impact on everyone else.

What would you do if your upstairs neighbor asked if they could remodel their home, which would require that they put a hole in your ceiling and run pipes behind your walls?

That is what the man in this story experienced, and he told the neighbor no, which made him mad.

Check it out.

AITA for not allowing my upstairs neighbor to run plumbing through my property so he can add a handicapped accessible extra bathroom?

I own a condo. My neighbor has a unit above mine.

He approached me with a bathroom addition plan to his unit.

They are an elderly couple, his wife has a condition worsening with age.

He wants to convert a bedroom to a second master bedroom with a handicapped accessible ensuite for the disabled wife.

This bathroom needs supply & drainage piping to run through my unit below.

The plumbing requires opening my ceilings, floors & walls of my living room.

The renovation, mess & repair would be disruption to my tenants who rent my place now.

This is a huge ask.

The noises of a bath draining or toilet flushing would be heard in the living room.

I’d want reimbursement to my tenant for loss of use during the work followed by cleaning everything to my tenant’s satisfaction.

I’d want contractors of my own choosing to do the work.

I’d have to get involved & petition the HOA to allow the work in my unit.

The plumbing supplies would run in an exterior wall of my condo & if they froze/leaked, (we have very cold winters) the first damage would be into my unit below.

If ever a clog or repairs, another excuse to enter my condo.

Who’d thereafter own those (his?) pipes in my condo walls?

If he sold his place, would the next tenant respect this arrangement or would we need an easement?

It was a can of worms.

I studied the man while he spoke.

I would want to help, but I would not be willing to give up so much.

There was desperation in his words, eyes & expressions; refusing this unappealing project would be an uphill battle.

I chose to just answer with a simple “no, sorry to disappoint but I can’t help you.”

He demanded to know why not & guessed my reasons.

I’d just repeat myself exactly, refusing his bait as he argued further & grew agitated.

He’d whittle me down & hold me to a long debate until I said yes.

I sidestepped all that, not giving him my reasons to challenge.

I didn’t wish to waste the next 30+ min explaining all of my concerns, hearing they were unimportant to him or his suggestions to mitigate them.

He is a broken record in order to avoid conflict.

He was exasperated with my same answers & after 5 minutes called me a “broken record” before stomping off.

He is gossiping about me to our neighbors.

I’m against disabled people.

How could I refuse to help his poor wife?

Because of me, she has a bad quality of home life.

Wow, they are really laying it on thick.

Other busybody neighbors stop me to discuss “our problem” & speak on his behalf but I cut them off saying the matter doesn’t concern them.

The next day somebody stopped to tell me this was a “bad look” for me.

Fed up I told him “good thing Im not running a popularity contest, now leave me alone!”

He’s using a disability to garner support when I have a right to refuse participation.

It is a difficult situation for them, but that doesn’t entitle them to ruin your condo.

Maybe he should renovate his existing master bathroom to suit his wife or maybe this condo is unsuitable for them & should move.

This is not a private house permitting such customization.

I had a touch of guilt when I saw him bring his wife home & she was struggling to use a walker.

AITA?

Absolutely not. What he is asking for seems very unreasonable.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say.

This person thinks it is unreasonable.

Here is someone who says to talk with the HOA.

Yes, why not remodel the original bathroom?

Here is someone who points out that this will directly impact the condo value.

This person thinks living on the second floor is dangerous.

The neighbor is asking for way too much.

As sad as it is, he might just have to move.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.