It is unfortunate when a loved one is dating someone who is controlling and even abusive in many ways.

What would you do if your cousin were dating someone who continuously controls him and attempts to isolate him from friends and family?

That is what the couple in this story is going through, so they want to disinvite the girlfriend from a get together at their home.

AITA for telling my fiancé his cousin’s girlfriend is not welcome in our new home?

I (26F) have been with my fiancé (M27) for 5 years.

Early in our relationship, he and his cousin, Steve (M30) purchased a house together as co-owners.

My fiancé’s sister and their other cousin also lived there for a while.

Everything was fine until two years later, when Steve started dating a woman who quietly moved into the house after only four months of dating.

This upset everyone since it wasn’t discussed with the household.

What does he see in her?

She doesn’t work, doesn’t go to school, and doesn’t contribute financially.

She spends her days reorganizing the house while constantly on the phone with Steve.

She’s extremely controlling—she goes through his phone, sits in on all his calls, and ensures he is always with her or talking to her.

He’s never alone, even at work or in the car.

At first, she seemed sweet, and the family liked her.

But over time, she began subtly isolating Steve from everyone.

She really is controlling.

She convinced him to have my fiancé’s sister and their cousin move out, leaving just her, Steve, and my fiancé in the house.

She made my fiancé feel unwelcome in his own home, and now she plans to have her brother move into Steve’s house—after Steve to removed his own family.

Her passive-aggressive behavior is exhausting.

She labels communal items like salt with her name so no one else can use them, reorganizes shared spaces filled with things that aren’t hers, and ignores me completely when I come over.

When Steve isn’t home, she hides in her room and acts cold and dismissive.

She is a completely different person when he is not around and it’s clear these are her true colors.

Sadly, it is sometimes impossible to get through to people.

Some family members have voiced concerns about her controlling behavior to Steve, but he insists he loves her and turns a blind eye.

While she’s the instigator, I don’t think Steve is completely innocent—he’s allowing this behavior.

Recently, she convinced Steve to buy my fiancé out of the house, so we’re moving out in a week.

I’m relieved, but here’s my issue: I’ve told my fiancé I don’t want her in our new home.

I’m fine with Steve visiting, but I don’t want her there.

If she couldn’t show us basic respect while living in a house my fiancé co-owned, I refuse to let her treat us poorly in our space now.

This will certainly cause drama.

I don’t want to stir the pot or cause drama, but I also refuse to let my boundaries be disrespected or normalize the way she’s treated us.

My fiancé is torn because he wants to maintain his relationship with Steve, but I feel strongly about this boundary.

AITA for saying I don’t want Steve’s girlfriend in our home?

She has the right to choose who comes to her house, but she has to know this will further isolate Steve.

Let’s see if the people in the comments have anything to say.

This person really hits the nail on the head.

Yes, this will absolutely cause drama.

Here is someone who says to make sure Steve knows he can come to them.

Steve can’t see that he is being abused.

This person says the fiancé should put her first.

Steve is being abused and helping him should be a priority.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.