When your one-bedroom flat is barely big enough for two, adding a surprise long-term guest can feel like a lot to handle.

Especially when the request comes after plans have already been made.

Read on for the story.

AITA for telling my girlfriend her adult sister can’t live in our tiny one bed flat for weeks

So my (M30) and my partner (F26) live in a country far away from both of our families. We live in a tiny one bed flat which is for all intents and purposes a studio (glass partition wall), it’s pretty cramped even with 2 of us.

I also pay all the rent, my partner covers food and a couple bills (far less overall and FAR less over the course of our relationship due to me earning considerably more).

My GF has just spent a couple of weeks seeing said sister in another country. Her sister is doing some travelling and then had planned to come and stay with us. I’ve been given no dates and wasn’t asked if this was OK or even how I felt about it.

Nothing like a surprise visit.

I was pretty stressed about it. I work long hours in a stressful position which includes once a week on average 14 hour shifts and two sets of night shifts (so needing to sleep during the day) during the time she plans to come. I’m a very introverted person and value my free space.

I would have to go to the bathroom to get changed because of the glass partition. I eventually told her how I was feeling, explained that I absolutely wanted her to spend with her sister, but asked that we consider others work around. She was disappointed but seemed to understand to some extent.

Today just before she boards her flight home she tells me she’s sad, that she’s crying and I ask why, because she’s gonna miss her family? I’m like, well you’re gonna see your sister again in a few weeks hey!

Yeah, everything was fine, what?

To which she responds with a screenshot of her and her sister taking about how upset they are, that they just wanted to spend time together but since I’m ‘stressed’ then they will have to just cut their time short together and how much this sucks for them. Immediately after she’s offline and on her flight.

They have just spent 2 weeks off work together and her sister is planning on travelling for 3 weeks alone before coming here, she just got a promotion doubling her salary.

I feel that if it was so important to spend time together her sister should sacrifice some of her personal travel time and pay for her accommodation here and my girlfriend could contribute what she can also. But no, it’s my fault they can’t have fun together.

This doesn’t seem right…

I feel incredibly guilty tripped and annoyed that she didn’t even think to ask me or consider how I might feel about this. If we had space I would have no problem, her friend stayed last year for a month when we had 2 bedrooms.

I still don’t even know when she is planning to come, for how long, where she will sleep (our sofa is not big enough for an adult to sleep on).

Anyway I went on a bit of a rant explaining how I felt about the whole situation. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is not cool?

The debate boils down to respecting boundaries versus supporting family.

Reddit is full blown on the NTA side.

This person offers some “advice” on what to do next.

This person warns not to fall for it.

This person thinks she’s got plenty of money to stay elswhere.

Tiny flat, big drama—where’s the room for compromise?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.