How would you react if a friend you hadn’t talked to in years suddenly reappeared in your life?
Would you welcome them with open arms or keep them at a distance?
In today’s story, a former friend suddenly pops back into a young woman’s life, and he expects her to drop everything for him.
She is furious and doesn’t know what to do.
Let’s dive into all the details…
AITA for not spending time with my “friend” after they announced an abroad, unexpected visit?
I (21F) am currently studying abroad.
I’ve been here since September and I leave in 2 and a half weeks!
My freshman year of college, I had a friend (22M) Nick.
Wild would be an understatement.
Nick would always want to have sleepovers, go out on adventures, go party and flirt with guys, but would go MIA for days afterwards.
Nick and the poster haven’t seen each other in quite awhile.
It was frustrating because we had so much fun when he was actually around!
Second semester, my mental health got bad.
Nick had virtually ghosted me.
He moved off of my floor and had brand new friends.
I dropped out of school and moved back home.
I never heard from him.
They are now casual friends but not that close.
About a year ago, he reached out.
He’d dropped out too.
We called maybe twice to catch up, and he never had a clear answer for why he ghosted me.
He was still across the country though, so I brushed it off as just a casual friend to send songs, reels, memes, etc to.
We texted sporadically, mostly him spamming me, but I’d respond whenever I got the chance.
She didn’t think Nick would really visit her.
He knew I was studying abroad and had mentioned wanting to visit, but I never took Nick serious because he never was serious!
Concrete plans were never a thing for him.
I told him my parents were coming, then I had finals, and a trip, so I wasn’t sure about my schedule.
He didn’t talk about it again.
Suddenly, he’s on a plane!
I didn’t respond for a while because I got busy.
But last night he reached out: he was at the airport, boarding a flight to come see me?!
He said he had no hotel, no return flight, so would it be a bother if he could stay with me for 1-2 weeks TBD?!
I said no, of course.
She’s more upset than ever!
I’m furious!
We never made concrete plans.
I never gave him a yes, only a maybe but barely that.
I’m appalled he thinks he can fly 4,000 miles, drop back into my life, and stay with me, all after ghosting me during one of my hardest times.
But I do wonder if part of me “led him on” with occasional texts here and there.
She’s wondering if she should ghost him or meet up.
Some of my friends said to not respond at all, but I don’t know if I want to fully ghost him.
I think I could stomach maybe coffee or lunch, but I have finals and friends and he just expects me to be his tour guide all of a sudden.
I’m angry and confused.
Honestly, ghosting him is probably the best option.
He sounds too spontaneous and unreliable.
Let’s see how Reddit reacted…
This reader would ghost Nick.
Here’s a potential response to Nick…
This person wouldn’t call Nick a “friend.”
If she let’s Nick stay with her, he may not want to leave.
It’s okay if they are no longer friends.
He’s just looking for a free place to stay.
Some people aren’t forever friends.
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.