When planning a wedding, you need to account for the fact that different families behave very differently at times.

What would you do if your fiancée wanted to have two separate rooms at the wedding reception so one family could party and the other could be more low key?

That is what the groom-to-be in this story wants, but his fiancée doesn’t like the idea of separating families.

Let’s read all the details.

AITA for suggesting to my fiancée that my family gets their own room at our wedding?

I (25M) am recently engaged to my lovely fiancée (25F).

We have been together for 4 years.

We have started general wedding planning.

Every family is unique.

Her family is much bigger than mine and she wants more of a “party” type wedding, with lots of music and dancing.

My family is all a bit older than hers (she is the oldest sibling while I am the youngest), and they aren’t into big, loud weddings.

They would prefer something quiet and more focused on socializing, and I would too.

This seems like a good compromise.

My fiancée said we could do an extended cocktail hour and/or start the reception later so there would be more time for quiet socializing, or even start the whole wedding earlier in the day so it wouldn’t go as late.

She also suggested that we could take our wedding photos before the ceremony so that we wouldn’t have to miss cocktail hour to do them.

I suggested that instead, we find a venue with two separate rooms.

It seems weird to keep families separate.

That way her family could have a louder party in one, and mine could have a quiet reception in the other.

It would be in the same venue so each side could still go over to the other to socialize.

My fiancée said she “actually really hates” that idea.

She said she feels like that defeats the purpose of a wedding, which is supposed to symbolize the union of two people and their families.

This is a very valid concern.

She also said she doesn’t want to do that because she worries I’ll spend the entire reception with my family and that she’ll have to chose between spending the night with me but ignoring her family, or being with her family but us “basically being separate at our wedding.”

She also said she feels like the wedding we’re planning is becoming less and less ours and more mine.

She said this because she originally wanted a child-free, non-religious wedding but compromised on a church ceremony with children allowed because that is what I want.

AITA?

I can definitely see why this would be convenient, but I do agree with the bride here that combining families is a better way to go.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say.

This person makes some good points.

Here is a comment saying separate rooms is a bad idea.

This person hates the idea.

Here is someone who thinks she needs to have a say in this too.

This person says he is not compromising at all.

This couple needs to learn to communicate and compromise.

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