Sometimes life gets very overwhelming when you are forced to prioritize one family member over another.

This woman struggles to find a balance between her kids and her parents. Her dad wants her to visit him in the hospital, but she has very good reasons why that’s hard for her to do.

Find out the whole situation.

AITA for telling my ill dad to stop asking me to visit him in the hospital ?

I am in my mid 30’s.

My parents are really old. My dad is almost 90. My mom is in her 70’s.

My dad was in his mid 50’s when my parents had me.

She has been dealing with her sick parents for years…

Since I was 6 years old, my dad has had major procedures in the hospital.

At first it was once every 2-3 years, and within the last 15 years it’s been once a year.

In the last two years, it’s been every few months.

Her mom wanted her to do things differently than she did.

My mom got married “later” in life. She lived her life to help her parents.

I feel like because she “missed out”, she put unrealistic expectations on me. She pressured me even before I ever met my current husband to find someone and have kids.

I had kids, and shortly after my youngest was born she let me know she wouldn’t be able to help me.

I expected such with her age, but it was insane to me how even yet still she would ask me to have more.

Her dad isn’t doing well.

My dad has been in the hospital twice now this year for complications from congestive heart failure.

My eldest is 3 and my youngest is 16 months.

I am able only to see my dad for a short while in the hospital.

They call me everyday to ask if I’m coming to see them.

My mom sent me a text today in the middle of my work meetings saying “your dad is asking for you.”

She called her mom.

I’ve been so exhausted from just raising kids, dealing with issues with my husband, work, cleaning house, potty training, etc.

I saw the text and called her and said “why did you send the text?”

She said “I’m just letting you know your dad is asking for you.”

I responded “has anything changed? Is anything happening?”

She said “nothing changed since yesterday” (when I last saw them).

She is so divided…

Is this practical, or normal?

I’m extremely overwhelmed and this is just added stress coming off as manipulation to me.

My father just called me in the middle of writing this and asked me why I’m not at the hospital and I responded, in the middle of playing with my kids, “if you wanted me to be by your side all the time why did you all expect grandkids from me? Did you think that my job was just to give birth to them and abandon them once you needed me?”

She is unable to manage everything alone…

I feel horrible I said this.

My mom made a comment I can find a baby sitter and that she always sees advertisements for baby sitters.

I told her that I can’t afford daycare and a baby sitter everyday to come see you. Then my kids will see me less than 4 hours a day.

Things have been very serious!

I hate to add on this part, but — my dad has literally had everything.

Heart surgery, intestinal surgery, cancer, a stroke, etc. His health is declining rapidly. But he will be in the hospital for weeks.

Not only can I not afford child care to cover me for weeks — I don’t want to.

She simply wants to be with her kids…

I want to spend time with my kids, especially knowing that … he’s always in the hospital, and my kids are too young in my opinion not to have me for a set amount of hours a day.

My mom told me I’m the AH for and that I should respect a dying man’s wishes — but he’s been having a dying man’s wishes for 15 years now.

AITA for asking my parents to stop asking me when I’m going to visit?

OUCH! That sounds so exhausting!

She is being pulled in two directions. Her kids need her, but she might regret it if her dad dies and she didn’t spend much time with him at the hospital.

Let’s check out comments from users on Reddit.

This user suggests scheduling hospital visits so the parents know when to expect her.

This user thinks she is holding a lot of grudges…

This user thinks fifteen years is a lot of time…

This user believes there’s nothing wrong with being with the kids more…

Exactly! This person also knows that the kids need their mom more.

Her life sounds exhausting.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.