If you’ve never been the person dating someone all your friends dislike, it is a rude awakening.

It can be hard to know what to do, because you feel like talking to them about it could cause a rift in your relationship that could be hard to repair.

This brother felt like he had to say something before his brother proposed, though, and went through with it.

Check out the details below.

AITA for telling my brother everyone dislikes the woman he is about to propose to?

My brother is planning to propose in 3 weeks, but in the last year he has managed to ruin his relationship with our mother, myself, and all of his closest friends.

These are all because of her.

The “her” in that sentence being his girlfriend.

Whether it’s her telling him he’s entitled to money, telling him he cannot go to friend events because of things SHE needs/wants to do (that often don’t involve him).

Even completely changing his belief system and ability to handle stressful situations.

Sounds like the behavior of someone who doesn’t want you to have any self-reliance.

He crashes out every time something happens that does not go directly to his idea of a plan, insults and behaves poorly to everyone involved, never apologizes and stops talking to people all together for relatively little things.

His friends have all come to me to ask what’s going on and why he is acting like this and why he has changed so much, as well as to vent and make me aware of their experiences with him acting in similar ways and sharing very similar concerns about how his partner affects him.

It’s so sad to watch someone slip away, especially without a good reason.

She has always been very rude to me and makes it clear she does not like me, and has completely turned him against our mother to the point that my brother won’t even communicate with our mom.

It’s tearing her life apart, she can’t sleep, it’s affecting her work and relationship, all because he won’t talk to her after she bought a house (after never having one) instead of paying for his college.

We grew up poor, so where the sense of entitlement comes from is a mystery. (Probably his partner).

Disconnection from a parent is serious and not to be taken lightly.

My father and stepmother are completely on his side, and would pretty much do anything to defend both my brother and his partner, which makes me feel like I’m the mediator of three different parties (mother, friends, dad/stepmom) trying to mitigate and have answers for intense heartbreak, genuine concern, and over-protection (respectively).

Oh what fun it is to be the family peacemaker.

I know I need to talk to him, but I’m not sure how to approach one, nevertheless all, issues without him freaking out and cutting me off as well.

Despite not liking his girlfriend/future fiancé, and despite severely disapproving of what I feel to be childlike and disrespectful behavior, I do love him, as he is my brother and we have always been very close.

I know even with carefully crafting a calm argument doing everything I can to avoid sounding like I am insulting or accusing either of them, he will still more than likely hate me and start freaking out over it.

At a certain point, worrying they won’t react well to the truth isn’t really in your hands.

It doesn’t help anyone to avoid reality in order to protect feelings.

AITA for wanting to show up at his door and force him to talk about this with me?

AITA for feeling like it’s my responsibility to essentially bomb-drop how everyone in his life is concerned and heartbroken about his behavior and primarily blames it on his girlfriend and the way she has sheltered and changed him so drastically?

He is proposing in 3 weeks and almost everyone in his life who loves and cares for and has known him for significant amounts of disapprove of her, and his behavior, but I am supposed to be the messenger for all of it right before he proposes?

A lot of weight to feel on your shoulders.

The perspective you come at it with is going to matter a lot:

It’s hard to know whether HE will end up regretting all of this someday:

These things are far from pleasant, but sometimes needed?

But remember, even if he is being manipulated, he’s still choosing to keep at it every day:

And the risk is big:

Be good to each other out there.

This is such a tough situation.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.