What would you do if a friend who was struggling wanted you to go along to an important appointment purely for moral support?

Would you go even if you had conflicting plans with your significant other?

That’s the situation in today’s story, and the friend isn’t sure what to do.

Let’s see why this friend is having such a hard time deciding what to prioritize.

AITA for refusing to help a friend with an important appointment because I wanted to spend time with my partner?

Hi everyone,

I’m feeling really conflicted and need some outside perspective.

A friend of mine has an important legal/administrative appointment tomorrow and asked me today if I could come with him to help.

He doesn’t speak the local language fluently and wanted me to go along for support.

He can see how going along might reduce his friend’s stress level.

He does have reliable transportation (bus/train), but I guess it’s more stressful for him than going with my car and without someone there to assist.

For context, my friend has been struggling with mental health issues for a while, and I’ve been trying to help him where I can.

At this point, though, I don’t know how to help him anymore—it feels like nothing I do makes a real difference.

This isn’t the first time he’s helped someone in a similar situation.

On my side, I’ve been helping people like him for years because I’m fluent in the local language and have often acted as a translator and guide.

I also have a car, which has made me the go-to person for these situations.

While I’m glad I’ve been able to help, it’s becoming exhausting.

I’ve rarely said no to anyone, but now I’m really burnt out.

There’s another complication…

To make things harder, I’ve barely had any time alone with my partner for over a month.

They’ve been busy with travel and family obligations, and we’ve only had two nights together recently after so long apart.

Tomorrow was supposed to be the last day we’d spend together before we don’t see each other again for a couple of weeks.

I was really looking forward to this time.

He tried to tell his friend “no.”

I told my friend that I can’t come tomorrow, explained that I’m tired and need to prioritize myself and my relationship this time.

I wished him well and reassured him that he’d be fine taking public transport and attending the appointment on his own.

However, he said he’d be immensely grateful if I came, and now I feel terrible.

He isn’t sure what to do.

I know this is a big deal for him, but I feel like I’ve done all I can to help him over the past months, and it’s wearing me down.

I don’t even know if I could help him with anything regarding the matter at this appointment, language skills are not that important there and it’s just the latest appointment that a lot of mistakes have led up to.

AITA for saying no and prioritizing myself and my relationship this time?

Or am I being selfish for not helping my friend when he’s clearly struggling?

It sounds like his mental health needs to be the priority here.

Giving and giving until you’re burnt out is not a good thing.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

It’s okay to say “no.”

This is a good suggestion.

He needs to be more assertive.

It’s a pretty one-sided friendship.

Prioritizing his love life is not a crime.

His friend should’ve asked sooner if it was that important.

But he’s also allowed to say no just because.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.