You can’t force kids to blend in a blended family, and it gets even more complicated when some of the siblings are no longer living at home.

In today’s story, a teenage boy doesn’t think he’ll ever think of his new step-siblings as his siblings, but his stepdad’s mom keeps pestering him to try to blend.

Let’s see how the story plays out.

AITA for not being more involved in my mom’s new family and not taking on a role as an older brother?

I (18m) live with my paternal grandparents and I’m in college.

I live 25 minutes from my mom so not we’re not too far from each other.

During the week I’m in school and on the weekends I work.

I make sure to take a couple of hours to meet mom for a late lunch or a coffee or something.

But that’s not what this is about.

Meet Brad.

My dad passed when I was 7 and it was me and mom until I moved out.

A few months before I moved out she had started dating a guy called Brad.

I met him, I met his kids, and they were fine.

They moved in about three months ago and now my mom and Brad are engaged.

He doesn’t spend a lot of time with Brad or his kids.

Brad’s parents moved to live close to their son and grandkids so they’re a few houses away from my mom and I met them twice.

I don’t have a whole lot to do with Brad or his kids.

I have been asked to babysit a few times and I always said no because I had other plans.

My mom seemed okay with that.

Though she has mentioned a few times that she’d love for me to spend more time with them and stuff.

I do see them occasionally but nowhere near as much as I see my mom.

He went to his mom’s birthday party.

My mom’s birthday was the other weekend and she had a small party at her house to celebrate.

I was there and I interacted with everyone just fine.

But my focus was on mom.

Brad’s mom confronted him at the party.

During the party she and Brad left the house for a few to pick up her gift.

Brad’s dad was with the kids and his mom approached me.

She told me the kids had been looking forward to spending time with me and instead I was interacting with others more and focused only on mom.

This was the second time I met this woman.

She told me Brad had hoped he’d get to spend some time with me as well.

She said it looked like I was only interesting in maintaining a relationship with mom and not on building my family.

He thinks Brad’s mom should mind her own business.

I asked her what business it was of hers and she told me her family are the ones involved.

She said my grandparents had set a bad precedent by not claiming Brad’s kids as honorary grandkids and embracing the fact mom had moved on from dad.

This woman told me I should be doing more though.

That if I love my mom I will love her family and accept them into my family.

I moved away from her so there wouldn’t be a fight or anything and once mom and Brad were back she didn’t try to approach me again.

Brad’s mom confronted him again, this time via text.

I didn’t say anything to mom and we went for lunch the week after.

But after our lunch Brad’s mom texted me (she got my number from my mom or Brad) and she scolded me or whatever you’d call it, for meeting with mom for time but not organizing something for us all to do and spending the time I spend with her with mom’s family.

She said it could be as easy as going to mom’s house and being a part of the family and being the big brother to the kids.

I told my mom about the stuff Brad’s mom had said.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever see Brad’s kids as his siblings.

Brad came in as we were talking and he said he’d speak to them but that he would love if I was more involved.

He said he’d love to be a father figure to me and to have a kid as good as me have some kind of sibling-type relationship with his kids.

He said not to babysit but even to hang out so they can say they have an older brother.

My mom said she was sorry about the stuff Brad’s mom had done and she asked me how I felt about maybe being a big brother.

I told her I’d see what happens with Brad and his kids but I wasn’t planning to sign up for being an older brother.

I told her they’d probably seem more like cousins to me.

Brad’s mom sent another text.

She was upset.

Then Brad’s mom texted again (and I quickly blocked her).

She asked why I had to go to her son like that when she was trying to talk some sense into me and help her family.

AITA?

Brad’s mom is being way too pushy.

They’re not even officially his stepsiblings yet since Brad and his mom are only engaged.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

He doesn’t have to be a big brother.

Brad’s mom needs to stay out of it.

This person calls Brad’s mom disrespectful.

It’s not like he doesn’t have enough going on already.

Brad’s kids probably don’t care.

He was smart to block his stepdad’s mom.

It sounds like she’s not someone who respects boundaries.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.