Family movie night should be fun, but when emotions run high, it can turn into a battle.

This dad refused to override a fair vote just to appease his adopted son, but his wife thinks he should have made an exception.

Now, tensions are rising—was he being fair, or just inflexible? Let’s read the story to decide.

AITA for not allowing my adopted son to choose the movie on family movie night?

I (45M) have four sons: three biological (17M, 15M, 12M) and one adopted (13M).

We adopted Jake, when he was 3 years old.

He came from a really difficult background, and we’ve always tried to give him as much love and support as possible. But if I’m being honest, it hasn’t been easy.

Jake has always been more of a challenge compared to my other boys. He’s extremely sensitive and gets upset over the smallest things.

Oh boy.

Due to the trauma he experienced early on, Jake is mentally and emotionally more like an 8- or 9-year-old, even though he’s 13. This isn’t because of any special needs; it’s just the result of what he’s been through.

When he was younger, he struggled a lot in school, to the point where he was eventually expelled from his primary school for behavioural issues. It was a really tough time for our family.

We ended up enrolling him in a SEMH (Social, Emotional, and Mental Health) school, which costs around £70k per year.

While the school has helped him somewhat, Jake still causes a lot of problems. The school often calls us because Jake’s had a meltdown or couldn’t handle something, and it’s clear he needs a lot more attention than our other kids.

No fun for anyone.

At home, Jake’s neediness can be overwhelming. He’s constantly seeking reassurance and gets upset if things don’t go exactly his way.

My wife has always been very patient with him, maybe too patient, in my opinion.

She tends to cater to his needs a lot more than the other boys, and I can see it’s starting to wear on them. I can tell they’re starting to feel like Jake gets special treatment.

It seems that the vote was clear.

Earlier today, during our usual Saturday family movie night, this issue came to a head.

We always vote on the movie to keep things fair.

The older boys and I wanted to watch the first Avengers movie.

When we voted, Jake was the only one who wanted to watch Spider-Verse instead. Jake loves Spider-Verse, and we’ve watched it several times before.

I sense very strong emotions in the near future.

Seeing how upset Jake was getting, my wife suggested that we just watch Spider-Verse to avoid a meltdown. She felt it wasn’t worth the fight and wanted to keep the peace, especially considering how sensitive Jake is.

But I felt like it wasn’t fair to the other boys who had won the vote fairly.

I said no, we’re sticking to the movie that won the vote.

Jake, predictably, got really upset, stormed off to his room, and refused to come back downstairs.

Nothing like an argument post meltdown.

After the movie, my wife and I had a huge argument. She said I was being too “harsh” and that I don’t understand how difficult things are for Jake because of his past.

She thinks I should have just let him have his way to avoid the conflict, but I’m tired of walking on eggshells and constantly giving in to Jake at the expense of the other boys. I don’t think it’s right to let Jake dictate everything just because he’s more sensitive.

AITA for not letting my adopted son choose the movie on family movie night, even though it upset him and led to a huge argument with my wife?

Enforcing fairness is important, but so is understanding a child’s emotional struggles. While constantly catering to Jake isn’t sustainable, maybe there was a middle ground that could have prevented the meltdown without undermining the other kids.

Reddit had differing opinions.

This person says OP is NTA. 

But this person says everyone stinks.

And yet, this person says no one is wrong here.

Majority rules…unless tears change the outcome.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.