Figuring out who picks up the bill when going out can be awkward.

This man is always expected to pay for dinner for his wife’s family.

He’s gone along with it for awhile, but he wants to stop paying for everyone.

Check out the story below for all the details.

AITA: Dinners out with Spouses Family, No One Else Ever Offers to Pay

I have a spouse I’ve been with for 3 years, and I love her very much.

Occasionally, we get asked to go out for dinners with her family.

This includes her mother (late 60s), brother (30), and cousin (approx 40).

Also included are her cousin’s 3 kids (approx 8, 3 and 1) and their grandmother.

This man reluctantly pays for everyone.

Whenever we go out, the expectation is that I (35) grab the bill for everybody. .

This feels unreasonable to me as I have to always pay for 9 people.

His wife’s cousin is perfectly capable of paying.

Her cousin claims to be reasonably successful herself.

She has a multitude of child support.

Her three children have two fathers, but they are not in the picture on a family life basis.

But she never offers to pay.

She always says thank you. And she adds, “I’ll get you back next time.”

But she never offers when the time comes around again.

The family is of Chinese descent.

My spouse (28) and her family are of Chinese descent, but they are longtime residents of the U.S.

My spouse, her brother, and the three youngest are all American born.

Her brother does not work and lives with her mom.

Her mom works low-income jobs to support herself and the son.

He understands the cultural expectation.

I do pretty well myself.

I understand the notion that the man pays is more prevalent in Chinese culture, but this feels unreasonable to me.

This isn’t even demanded by my own parents or siblings.

This is money I could be using for my own dinners or trips with my spouse.

It frustrates him.

For further context, these dinners are frustrating to me.

Most of the group just scrolls their phone, and the majority of the discussion quickly shifts to Chinese.

This is especially true between the mom, aunt, and cousin.

His wife thinks he’s being a jerk.

I don’t even mind terribly covering her mom and brother, but the extra family of 5 irritates me a bit.

My spouse is telling me I’m being a jerk because I’m complaining about this in advance of an upcoming dinner.

But I find this scenario uncomfortable. AITA?

It’d be nice if they just split the bill. Maybe he could make an excuse not to go to the next dinner and see who ends up paying instead.

Let’s find out what others have to say about this on Reddit.

This person shares their personal thoughts.

This person offers some useful advice.

Here’s a valid remark from this person.

Short and straight to the point.

Finally, another suggestion from this user.

It’s clearly a case of being taken advantage of.

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