After breaking up with her boyfriend, a young woman moves in with her brother and his partner under one simple request—clean up after cooking meat and avoid shellfish due to a severe allergy.
Instead, the kitchen turns into a greasy disaster, and tensions boil over when pork juice ends up in the coffee maker.
Read on for the story.
AITA for asking my boyfriend’s sister to stop cooking pork?
Two months ago, my boyfriend’s sister (19F) broke up with her boyfriend and had to move out of his apartment.
My boyfriend (26M) and I (27NB) offered to let her move in with us.
When she moved in, I asked her to clean up after herself if she cooked meat, as neither my boyfriend nor I eat meat.
Also not to cook anything with shellfish, as I have a severe shellfish allergy.
She said that was fine and she would make sure to do it.
She has not been cleaning up after herself in the kitchen, and almost every day I have to clean congealed animal fat off pans and dishes that she has left out overnight.
Nothing like the smell of congealed animal fat and broken promises first thing in the morning.
I don’t mind doing her dishes when I’m already washing mine and my boyfriend’s, but I really hate having to clean out animal fat and bits of meat from all my cookware.
I have asked her several times to remember to clean up after herself, and she always says she will but never does.
I’m also Jewish, and although I’m not religious, it’s still important to me to follow my cultural practices.
Having pork in the kitchen makes me uncomfortable generally, as you are not supposed to share any cooking surfaces or utensils between kosher and non-kosher foods.
But having to clean it up myself makes me feel dirty in a way that I can’t fully explain.
When I woke up yesterday, she had left sausages wrapped in foil on top of the coffee machine and it had dripped juice (?) down into the machine.
Waking up to pork juice in the coffee machine is definitely not part of a balanced breakfast.
I was really mad, so I told her to stop cooking pork until she was ready to clean up after herself.
I was going to ask her to stop cooking meat altogether, but it felt too harsh when I’m already imposing restrictions due to my allergy.
She said I was being unfair, since she doesn’t ask me not to cook things she doesn’t like.
I replied that if I was cooking in her kitchen and she was doing all my dishes for me, she’d be within her rights to ask me not to keep cooking something that she hated cleaning.
It’s not even about me not liking pork, it’s a religious obligation not to contaminate my food with it.
She started crying, saying that I must think her food is gross or dirty if it will ‘contaminate’ mine.
I tried to apologize, as I didn’t mean to insult her food, but my boyfriend interrupted to tell me to stop bothering her about it.
He said it doesn’t matter whether there’s pork in the kitchen, and it’s not a religious obligation since I don’t believe in G-d.
Turning the kitchen into a greasy, pork-covered mess and then playing the victim? Bold move.
His sister left, saying she was going to stay with a friend where she wasn’t being constantly policed, and my boyfriend is now really mad at me for ‘expecting her to organize her life around my demands.’
That she has already accommodated me enough with my allergy.
I really don’t want to be controlling or demanding, and I feel like I’ve been too harsh, but I also feel really uncomfortable with having to ignore something so important to me.
So, AITA?
Is expecting basic cleanliness really a “demand”?
Reddit says no.
Not at all.
This person says she’s just asking for some basic respect.
It’s HER home.
This person says the boyfriend is the problem here.
This one agrees…and thinks she needs to reevaluate her relationship.
Nothing like free rent and a side of guilt-tripping to go with that pork-covered kitchen.
This roommate is out of line in so many ways.
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