Her Ex Husband’s New Wife Wants Her Kids Around Their House More, But She Doesn’t See Why She Should Agree

Matthew Gilligan

8 months ago

Pexels/Reddit

Mixed families can be rough.

Kids, parents, schedules, etc.

It’s a lot to deal with!

The woman you’re about to hear from took to Reddit to ask if she handled a situation badly with her husband’s new wife.

Read on and see what you think.

AITA for dismissing my ex’s wife and telling her I don’t care what she wants?

“I have two children (11 and 10) with my ex-husband.

We divorced on not so great terms. Mostly due to his job which is relevant to now.

About a year into our six year marriage he changed jobs.

It wasn’t a huge deal at first and he was honest that it required him to work out of town once a month which wasn’t too bad.

One night of him being gone was fine.

But then he accepted a job change which acted as a promotion but not a direct promotion.

Things were changing…

This job he took without telling me and it required more travel.

I told him I wasn’t okay with being left like that for who knows how long.

I said if he didn’t dedicate time to our family or took another so called promotion like this without talking it over with me first I was done with our marriage.

By the time I was pregnant with our second child he did the same thing again and I followed through.

She finally had enough.

I moved out and took our oldest with me.

The house was his from before our marriage so it wasn’t a marital asset and I didn’t fight him on that.

But during our divorce (when our second child was several months old) he acknowledged in court that he had chosen to take a different position again that would see him out of town on a regular basis could be gone anywhere from 2 to 3 weeks a month.

This was what ultimately led to him getting one to two weekends a month depending on his work schedule.

But only if he has the kids.

If he’s home during any school breaks he can have them then.

But only for as long as he is home.

Ummm, no.

This worked in some way until he remarried.

His wife was constantly saying custody could be 50-50 now and the kids would be with her and I refused to entertain that idea.

If they weren’t going to see their dad they weren’t going to his house.

Now she and my ex have a child together, a baby who can’t be more than six months old, and she’s relentless about having the kids at her house more.

She uses the app my ex and I use for communication to request time.

She tried to impersonate my ex but a letter from my lawyer quickly put a stop to that.

So now she’s upfront that she wants the kids there more.

She said when the kids are at her house they act like strangers.

I think it makes sense since that’s what they basically are. Their dad is one too.

This is bad.

My kids don’t like their dad’s wife.

She makes them uncomfortable because she’s not very good at listening to their boundaries on personal space (she tries to force hugs) and because she’s repeatedly told them they could call her mom or ma if they’d like.

Now my ex’s wife is using her child as a reason the kids should be there 50% of the time.

She wrote out this lengthy email to me about all her reasons why she feels it would be in the best interest of the kids.

I replied with no and left it at that.

She found this dismissive and confronted me in person to tell me that.

She said she wants more time with my kids and to bond with them and for her child to bond with them.

I told her I don’t care about her wants and she needs to leave it alone.

My ex doesn’t get involved.

My lawyer knows everything and we did mention ex’s wife contacting me when we last saw the judge but due to my ex’s already limited parenting time the court won’t do anything more.

So I don’t have a lot of options available to me.

I just wonder now if I was wrong to be dismissive and say I don’t care about her wants.

Whether that’s just a way to add conflict.

AITA?”