Arrangements need to be made for the holidays when someone moves away from their family to be with their partner.

In this couple’s case, they arranged for one year to be spent with the wife’s family in their country and one year with his family, where they live.

But her husband’s family is slowly but surely making their Christmas the main (and only) one. So she decided to book a flight to spend Christmas with her family anyway, with or without him.

Now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong for doing so.

Read the story and see how things played out.

AITA for refusing to go to my in-laws for Christmas this year and booking a flight to see my family instead?

Me (23, F) and my husband (25, M) agreed to an arrangement when we got married that we would take it in turns to spend Christmas with our families i.e. one year with his family, the next with mine, then his again etc.

For context before I explain – his family are nice enough, but they are highly emotional and quite manipulative people (his mum and sister mainly) and can be quite overbearing.

For example, we have to go to his home every Sunday for lunch and spend the whole day there. If we miss it once it’s the end of the world for him and them.

One time we missed it because I didn’t want to go (feeling lazy), he told his mum and she sent me a horrible text saying I’m unappreciative.

She feels that this is unfair, especially given the circumstances.

Also for context, his mum has been sick (she had a small heart attack in September of last year – I am sympathetic but she’s been fine since then).

Also for context, I am from a different country and am living with him in his home country. My family are all still in my home country.

We got married two years ago, and the first year we spent Christmas with his family (his mum insisted that we go to theirs first).

Last year we were supposed to both spend it with my family.

She hasn’t spent Christmas with her family in a while.

I knew they would cause problems, and as expected, at the beginning of December, he went to see his family one day without me, and when he came back he said he couldn’t spend Christmas with my family.

He said that his mum is ill and there’s a chance she won’t be around next Christmas (this year).

I was concerned, obviously, but he said nothing has changed with her condition, the heart attack was just really scary and it’s possible.

In the end, we both ended up staying with his family again at Christmas.

She wants to spend Christmas with her family this time.

I was really excited to go to see my family this year. We live in his home country so I rarely get to see my family and they were really excited, but I got guilt-tripped.

Fast forward to this year.

His mum is fine and we’re talking about Christmas (because flights to go back to my home are getting more expensive).

He asked me why I’m looking at flights, that it’s his family’s turn to have us at Christmas.

Excuse you?! She is not doing this again.

I said no, we spent it with his family last year, but he’s saying that yes, we did, but it’s the third year, so technically it’s his family’s turn.

He said we were meant to go to my family last year but we didn’t, and that’s not his or his family’s fault.

I said that no, I only did that because I wanted to spend Christmas with him and because his family were guilting me, and that this year it was my family’s turn.

We argued, and in the end I went ahead and booked a flight to my home for Christmas, and told him if he doesn’t want to g,o then okay, but I will be going with or without him.

AITA?

I hope she has an amazing Christmas with her family.

I’m curious to see what Reddit has to say about this.

A reader shares their thoughts.

A warning.

This commenter shares their opinion.

Things need to change ASAP.

Another reader chimes in.

Exactly.

When you get married, your spouse becomes your new priority.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.