It’s hard to keep showing up for people who make you feel like you don’t belong.

So, what would you do if your partner’s family slowly pushed you out, through cold shoulders, silent treatment, and invitations that somehow never included you?

Would you keep playing nice?

Or would you stop participating altogether?

In today’s story, one woman finds herself in this exact scenario and decides that enough is enough.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for refusing to participate in my partners family events

Me (31F) and my boyfriend (31M) have been together for almost 3 years.

When I first met his family, they were kind and really put in effort to get to know me.

His sister (27F) and his sister-in-law (29F) would text me to plan dinner together, we’d work out together, etc.

The feeling was mutual.

Slowly, I’ve noticed them both distancing themselves from me with no apparent reason to my knowledge.

She has no idea what she did wrong.

Several months ago, his brother reached out to me and my bf, asking if we’d like to go to Hawaii with them (the family, minus the parents).

We took a couple of hours to discuss this and responded that night that we were in.

His brother responds back, saying, “Never mind, we decided to go with a smaller group,” essentially just removing us since everyone else was still going.

They went on their trip and blocked me and my bf from seeing their social media stories (to this day, we’re still blocked but haven’t spoken up about it to them.)

There was never an apology or an attempt to communicate what happened.

It was just swept under the rug.

Now, it seems like they’re getting guilt-tripped.

Fast forward to recent events, his family texts us asking if we’d come over on a Thursday evening.

My bf has to work, so we responded saying we can’t make it, but that we’ll see them the following Sunday for Father’s Day.

The sister texts us a video that night, that the SIL/brother was announcing their first pregnancy, and that we missed it.

There was no attempt to reschedule the announcement so that we could all be present for it.

They could’ve easily said the news on Father’s Day, just days later.

Given how things have been going, she no longer feels comfortable attending these events.

I had a deep talk with my bf last night and expressed my concerns that his family is making it clear they don’t value our presence.

Whenever we go over to the family home, it feels like everyone goes quiet and dilutes their personality until we leave.

I told him I will no longer participate in family events.

I will not congratulate his SIL since she has been nothing but standoffish towards me for years now.

I will not go where I don’t feel welcome.

Today he went to the family home alone, and I stayed at home.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why she’s so bothered by this.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit have to say about it.

This reader suggests there’s missing info.

According to this comment, the family is not being mean.

As this person points out, that’s a petty reason to get mad.

Yet another person who thinks she’s being petty.

It seems like there’s some kind of misunderstanding here, and she’s taking it too personally.

Something is definitely going on.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.