Graduating from a PhD program is a cause for celebration, an accomplishment that shouldn’t be sullied by any bad vibes.

So what’s someone to do when, as in this story, an unwanted acquaintance inserts himself into the festivities.

Doctor, doctor, give me the news…

WIBTA for excluding an acquaintance from a party for our friend?

I (26F) am currently planning a “Doctorette” party for my friend Annie, who just defended her dissertation.

Cute. Well done, Annie. Hopefully nothing sullies this celebration.

We’ve been good friends for years, as I’m also a PhD student in the same program (I joined last year but have known her a long time).

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a club meeting for a campus group Annie and I are both part of, though she couldn’t make it that day. One of the attendees, let’s call him X, claimed to be a close friend of Annie, too.

“Claimed” to be a close friend. Sus. Wonder how Annie feels about X…

I mentioned the upcoming celebration, and he got really excited and asked to be added to the group chat.

Once I added him, he noticed my last name (which is slang for something gross/funny—I’d rather not say exactly what to protect my privacy), and he started loudly laughing and making immature, rude jokes about it.

Not cool, bro. Will he get X’ed out of the chat?

I politely asked him to stop, but he ignored me and kept going, so I left.

The next day, I suggested a potential date for the party in the group chat. X replied saying he’d be out of town then but could do a weekday. I removed him from the chat, and everyone else agreed a weekday worked better.

Yep. No more discord in the chat, right?

Right after I deleted him, however, X desperately messaged me saying he really really wanted to celebrate Annie and might even change his trip.

I told him we hadn’t finalized anything yet. He kept following up with “please pleaseeeee let me know when there’s a date” messages, to which I kept telling him we didn’t have a date yet.

Sounds like X can’t take a hint. What’s OP to do now?

Well, we actually did pick a date—this coming Wednesday. And here’s where I may be TA…

I’m thinking of just going ahead with the plan without informing X. If he asks, I might tell him I “forgot” due to being swamped and suggest he join us another time.

The truth is, I really don’t want to deal with him again—ever, honestly.

Who would?

So… would I be the AH if I went this route?

It’s one thing to crash a party in a fun way. It’s a whole other thing to demand an invite where you’re clearly not wanted.

What do the comments think about this one?

One person is like, X out X.

Someone else wants more info.

This poster also thinks more digging is required.

Another person says, it’s about Annie not OP.

A bad friend a day keeps the doctorate away.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.