I’ve been doing comedy stuff for a long time, and one thing that consistently bothers me is when people brush things off as “jokes” when like…there’s no joke?

Like, jokes are usually some form of untruth, but that doesn’t mean every lie is a joke. Sometimes it’s just a weird lie.

That’s what was going through my head as I read this:

AITA for leaving my boyfriend at the bar after he told the waitress I was his “sister” as a joke?

Okay, so this happened last weekend and I’m still getting heat from my friends and even my mom for how I handled it.

I (21F) have been dating (27M) for about 8 months.

Things have been mostly great, he’s cute, charming, a little arrogant sometimes, but whatever.

But then come the jokes.

He has this habit of “joking” about not being serious with me when we’re around other people.

At a party once, he introduced me as “a friend of a friend.”

Another time, he pretended he forgot my name in front of his college buddy.

Every time I’ve brought it up, he’s brushed it off as “just a joke”…

While it would definitely have the potential to make her angry, I would at least classify pretending to forget your partner’s name as a joke.

Back in the day my best friend and I would do this bit all the time.

But this next part…

We were out with a few of his friends at this bar.

It was pretty packed, and the waitress was definitely flirting with him smiling a little too hard, touching his arm, that kind of thing.

I wasn’t too bothered at first.

He can be friendly and doesn’t always realize when someone’s hitting on him.

But then I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, I heard the waitress laughing and saying, “Oh my god, seriously?”

I asked what was so funny, and she said, “Your brother is hilarious.”

So, you can see where this is going:

I looked at him, and he smirked and said, “Yeah, I told her you’re my sister. Just messing with her.”

I didn’t laugh. I just said “Cool,” grabbed my stuff, and walked out.

I took an Uber home.

He didn’t follow me, but he texted saying I was being “dramatic” and that it was “just a joke.”

I haven’t seen him since.

This is where it all falls apart for me. Telling a stranger a lie, when that stranger has no way of knowing either way, isn’t a joke.

It’s just a lie. And a really weird one.

Now his friends are messaging me saying I embarrassed him, and even my mom said I should have just “played along” instead of storming off like a child.

She said guys do dumb stuff sometimes and if I want to keep a man I need to “pick my battles.”

I don’t know. It just felt icky.

Like he was trying to downplay our relationship or seem available for the attention?

People responded in the comments:

There’s a sick burn waiting in the wings here:

This is clearly already a pattern.

How should we assess this?

Look, even giving this guy total benefit of the doubt – assuming that he really does just think this is a funny bit and it’s not about trying to distance himself from you – he should realize by now that you don’t think it’s funny and you don’t like it.

That is enough of a reason to stop, no matter what his motivations.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.