There’s a really important difference between how you feel and how you behave.

Our emotions influence our behaviors, absolutely, but part of growing up is learning to keep that in check.

If criticizing someone’s behavior is met with accusations of policing their feelings, that’s a big red flag.

If you knew someone you loved was grieving, would you ignore their rude behavior or call them out on it?

Let’s see how this couple handles it.

AITA for being less sympathetic about my bfs grandmother’s death

My bfs grandmother passed away a little while ago and of course this is tragic.

The night he found out he had an ATV dropped off at the house and turns out it was flat, doesn’t turn on, doesn’t go into neutral.

So we had to push it from the road to the backyard.

Me weighing 87lbs and he weighs 170.

That sounds like it’s not gonna work super well. And it doesn’t.

He kept getting upset with me for not being able to push it, the handle swings to the side with force from him pushing and I didn’t fix it, ect.

I was struggling physically and he was struggling mentally with the weight of his grandmas death.

I got upset and after being chewed out for my weakness I told him “I understand you’re frustrated and upset but please don’t take it out on me”

That set off the bells of war apparently because that translates to “not letting him feel his feelings” or “he has no right to be upset”

It gets worse.

Today he mistakenly told me the wrong road name to turn on and when I corrected him he started saying I’m an idiot because I’m the one who said the wrong road name?

Even though he said it and I corrected him??

And then afterwards starts saying that it’s because of his grandmother’s death and that I’m gaslighting him.

I feel like I’m being gaslit.

Am I just supposed to take all the anger he’s tossing at me or do I have the right to say “don’t take it out on me” since that’s so horrible to say apparently..

He isn’t thinking straight, but it’s too bad she has to deal with his anger.

Let’s see what the comments have to say on Reddit:

If this just started, it’s a problem. If it’s business as usual, it’s a HUGE problem.

Seriously, you should evaluate this carefully.

Grieving isn’t an excuse to be mean.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.