When a parent gets sick, you want to do everything you can to care for them and help them get better.

What would you do if your boyfriend’s mother kept claiming to be sick, but was always wrong, and you suspect that she is lying for attention or other reasons?

That is the situation the young lady in this story is in. She finally said she was going to visit her own family, and now her boyfriend is upset.

Should she go anyway? Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for refusing to help my boyfriend’s dying mother while planning a trip to Europe?

I (25F) live with my boyfriend Liam (24M).

About a month ago, his mom Tanya began claiming she’s dying of cancer, but no diagnosis has been confirmed. Every hospital visit ends with her being sent home.

A nurse even told Liam she might be faking.

It sounds like Mom is struggling with some mental issues.

It started when she stayed “one night” at our one-bedroom apartment. That turned into a week of chaos.

She refused AC and fans (said they hurt her skin) but blow-dried her hair daily. The apartment smelled awful, everything had to be dark and silent, and she constantly demanded help.

She even stormed into our bedroom at 3am asking Liam for massages (we sleep without clothes so that was awkward).

She criticized our Buddhist souvenirs, insisted we hang a cross (I did), and complained non-stop.

She suggested we move in with her, an hour from our jobs/school. I’m a full-time student with two jobs and a 4.0 GPA, and I was falling behind. Liam, who works full-time, switched to remote work (his boss hated this) to care for Tanya.

She needs a psychologist.

Her health “updates” were always shifting: MRI, canceled surgery, then chemo postponed due to infection, then E. coli.

Always a new reason. No clear diagnosis or paperwork.

When her husband David (who funds her lifestyle) was away, she made us go to her house to get her jewelry because she thinks he’ll steal it when she dies (he’s an alcoholic according to her).

We were supposed to take her to the ER right after, but we ended up staying 16 hours doing chores. I folded 420 clothing items, cleaned the whole house, and felt like her unpaid maid.

Not a single please or thank you.

Mental illness is a terrible thing.

She was stalling to go to the ER, and when we finally got there at 5 am, she said she’d check herself in, and sent us home.

Three hours later, she called again, sobbing for help. She had been rejected by the ER.

I suspect she faked it.

Her antics are really taking a toll on them.

Liam and I have both been skipping meals, losing sleep, and falling behind at work to help her.

He once said he’s waiting for her to pass away so we can move to Europe. He’s been forced to manage her divorce, lawyer meetings, and funeral prep.

Meanwhile, David *who’s paying the hospital bills and had been kept in the dark about all this) sent Liam aggressive texts like “I think she is lying” and “Don’t show up at my house no more,” then later apologized.

You can’t drop everything in life to help people like this.

Tanya called again begging for help.

But this time, she wanted me, because David is jealous of Liam.

I had clearly told Liam I needed that weekend to study for final exams. And going to that house alone seemed sketchy.

She deserves to see her family.

Now, I’m planning a 2–3 week Europe trip to see my mom, whom I haven’t seen in over a year.

Liam says he supports it but called it “a little selfish.” He’s asked, “If I were dying, would you quit your job to be with me?” and “If it were your mom, would you help her?”

I felt pressured to say yes. But truth is, my family wouldn’t lie to me or use me like this.

He might be in denial about his Mom’s honesty.

I love Liam and want to be there for him. But I don’t trust his mom, and this is starting to affect our relationship.

AITA for refusing to help Tanya and going home to Europe?

She should help Liam accept the fact that something is wrong with his Mom, but it is a mental health issue, not physical. They need to get her the care she needs.

Let’s see what the people in the comments on Reddit say about this.

This is very good advice.

This person says to go visit her own mother.

Yes, a serious conversation is needed.

This commenter suggests setting boundaries.

This person suggests they break up.

Firm boundaries need to be set until she gets the help she needs.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.