It’s funny how quickly people come asking for help after they’ve already ignored your advice.

So, what would you do if your brother-in-law made terrible financial decisions, ignored every warning, and then came asking you to bail him out? Would you cave for the sake of family? Or would you stand your ground and refuse to help?

In the following story, one husband finds himself in this exact predicament and is unsure if he did the right thing.

AITA for refusing to loan my BIL money?

At the beginning of this year, I found out that my BIL had gotten married, and he was moving near us.

I told him rent is pretty expensive so I wouldn’t recommend it. However, he said it’s all good because his wife will help pay for rent until he finds a job.

Fast forward a month, and my wife tells me he’s about to sign a 2.5k a month lease for 12 months for a three-bedroom apartment.

He tried to explain to his wife why it was a bad idea.

I told her it was a bad idea financially, considering he doesn’t have a job, and they could find something cheaper. And what do you need three bedrooms for? BIL once again says he’s good, and his wife agreed to pay rent when they both signed the lease.

Just yesterday, my wife told me he needs help paying rent for this month. It turns out he only had rent money for the first two months.

So he asked his wife to help, and she apparently refused. So I said ok, well, then they both will get evicted.

Then, they found out that there’s more to the story.

It was casual talk until my wife dropped the hammer….. It turns out that, apparently, BIL’s wife is blackmailing him to pay all the rent regardless of whether he has a job or not. My wife and I don’t know what the blackmail is, and BIL won’t tell us.

Then, my wife asked if I could help him pay rent.

I said: “After my repeated advice was ignored, if your brother was hanging on a cliff and I was on the edge of the cliff and I had a pocket full of ***** and he only needed one to be saved, I WOULD NOT GIVE A SINGLE ****”

Now, he’s worried about his marriage.

After reflecting later, I realized that the comment was a bit harsh, but I don’t know. I was just furious at the situation.

I was raised to be very mindful of my finances, and this is not the first time he’s asked for money. Whenever we go out, I’m always paying. I do not expect it back, but there’s no way I can lend him 2.5k for poor decisions he’s made.

I’m afraid my refusal will put my marriage in jeopardy because of my BIL.

AITA?

Yikes! The brother-in-law sounds very entitled, and the wife isn’t making it any better.

Let’s see what the folks over at Reddit have to say about what’s going on.

Even with a promissory note, this reader still wouldn’t do it.

According to this person, they did it to themselves.

Here’s an excellent point.

As this comment explains, the BIL’s wife may pay at the last minute.

These are great questions.

He should stick to his decision. If his wife chooses her irresponsible brother over him, then maybe he’s better off without her.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.