Family visits can be both a joy and a logistical puzzle, especially when grown children are involved.

So when one woman’s adult daughter kept dodging solid answers on when they could come visit the grandchildren, she began to contemplate how many more last-minute excuses she could take.

You’ll want to read on for this one!

AITA because I’m tired of catering to one daughter?

Every time my husband and I make plans to visit our adult girls (two, both married with grandkids and a 4-hour flight away), I never get a response from one for days.

The other has her response for us to do things with the grandkids within a day.

She’s grown increasingly unhappy with her daughter’s lack of responsiveness.

Thirty days should be enough notice if we can visit, and there’s other family we visit with also.

Seven days before the trip and still just lame excuses with no definite dates.

She begins to feel like it’s not a big deal to anyone else but her.

My husband, on the other hand, acts like planning makes no difference and just wants to go with the flow.

But I like some idea of where and when to visit… just over feeling rushed for the last-minute “well, if you can make it” plans, because then I look like the bad guy if we can’t break other family plans to see the grandkids.

It’s always been hard to get everyone together, and she begins to resent that.

It’s hard for large get-togethers because of work schedules.

AITA for being just totally over catering to this daughter?

She may blame her daughter’s disorganization, but what about her own inflexibility?

What did Reddit have to say?

Maybe the daughter isn’t the one in the wrong here.

This commenter offers some valid counterpoints.

Someone’s catering alright, but it’s not the grandmother.

This insistence on planning ahead could be driven by something else entirely.

This grandmother thought she was being excluded, but it seems she never considered how her rigidity may be part of the problem.

Ultimately, her need for control overshadowed everything.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.