It’s not uncommon for family obligations to clash with unexpected life events.

She made what felt like a respectful and necessary decision to prioritize the funeral of a close friend over a baby shower, but her mother saw it as a betrayal.

Read on for the full dilemma.

AITA for my family attending a close friends funeral instead of my brothers baby shower?

My family lost a dear friend and mentor/father figure of over 20 years to my husband.

The services will be the same day as my brother’s first baby shower.

They had planned to help plan the shower, but this unforeseen circumstance changes things.

Both of these events require travel.

During the initial planning stages of the baby shower, my family was scheduled to help my mom prepare the food and decorations and obviously attend the celebration.

I was always supposed to travel in a few days before everyone to help with preparations and spend time with my parents, brother, and his wife, as they also live out of state.

So when they heard about their friend, they tried to give plenty of notice.

When we got the news of the service times for our friend, I let my mom know that it was the same day as the shower and we wouldn’t be able to make it.

My husband is giving the eulogy.

But I told her that I still wanted to come the week before, help her, and spend time with them—but would need to leave early so we could attend the funeral.

But that still isn’t enough for her mom.

She is mad at me.

She told me not to come.

She said hardly anyone was going to be at the baby shower and she’s hurt this was my choice.

Her brother seemed fine, but her mother insisted it was all a show.

I spoke to my brother and told him the situation.

He said I was making the right decision by going to the funeral.

According to my mom, that was just lip service—“what was he supposed to say? The choice was already made.”

The tension continues to linger between them.

She says they are all so hurt that we won’t be there.

She won’t pick up the phone when I call, and I got these details via a few short texts.

AITA?

She made the decision with good intentions, but good intentions weren’t enough for her demanding mother.

What did Reddit have to say?

She did more than her due diligence here.

Baby showers and funerals really aren’t comparable at all.

Her family seems like the type to make mountains out of molehills.

There are plenty of other ways to make it up to her brother.

Even when you explain your reasoning endlessly, the people who choose to misunderstand always will.

In the end, she showed up where she was needed most.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.